Andrew wrote in message
...

"Vickychick" wrote in message
om...
I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who
has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her
horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was
amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much
makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts?
Vicky
(who takes time outs when "I" am angry.)

Hi,

I assume you are talking about single mothers? My thoughts are that single
parents can easily fall into trying to do too much and give too much of
themselves. There is only so much to go round at any one time and you need
to recharge yourself to be of most use to your kid. If you take no time
out
you come to a point of diminishing returns at some stage and find you just
are'nt as useful to/good for your kid as you could be with a recharge. You
are the most important thing in your childs universe and its important to
keep yourself in tip top condition to fulfill that responsibility. One of
the hardest things to come to terms with is the fact that you should not
feel guilty for being human and needing some time to get yourself together
as well.I have scheduled a recharge for Dec 12th and I am going to a
function with some people I used to work with on a large project five or
six
years ago. Intend to seriously let loose, my daughter is going to stay at
my
sisters that night (I know my daughter will not be impressed but it won't
do
her harm, there is another kid to play with, she gets on with them and
will
be safe and I will feel revitalised (once the hangover subsides))

PS, the guilt thing, note I am justifying myself to myself and others in
the
last bit.

PPS end of thoughts

Andrew



I am not sure if the original post was on single parenting but I like to add
that ALL parents fall into that trap of being to giving of themselves. Of
what I see around me and in my profession, it is not more or less of a
single parenting thing. It is a parenting issue. I also will add, that in
homes where there are two parents, it seems to me that the man is more
likely to take time for himself then the women. That is just what I see, no
stats to back it up. It could be the fathers are doing things to keep them
strong for the family while moms tend to think the family will cease to
exist without them there to control it?

T