"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
news:cBPyb.230510$jy.97087@clgrps13...

'Kate wrote in message
...
On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick)
I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who
has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to
her
horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It
was
amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too
much
makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts?
Vicky
(who takes time outs when "I" am angry.)

Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we
expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer
things,
fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel
as
if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities of
the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income,
childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego taking
time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this.
They
take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's
because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role
is
as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of
everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that
the
idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the
economic changes in the operation of the family.

'Kate


I'm with you on this one Kate. I found that living with someone else
created more problems than helped ease them. I found I was doing even
more
work, whereas that other person could have helped out more. I think
when
it's just me, I have only myself to count on, and when I was living with
someone else, their expectations weren't in line with mine (clean house,
laundry done, the basics really). *sigh* I want to be in a relationship
where it's based on equality. I find that typically, even though I was
working or going to school full-time that *I* was still responsible for
the
household duties and let me tell you, that didn't fly for very long. lol

Christine

I think that in general, there is a vast chasm between what men consider
'clean' and what women do ;-)


LOL yeah you got THAT right. I draw the line at laundry strewn across the
house when let's face it, it's not hard to toss it in the laundry basket, or
when I find wrappers stuffed under the cushions, I'm like FFS are you 3
years old? And I know it wasn't my kids because geez, they actually know
better. LOL

Christine