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Old October 25th 03, 03:25 PM
Rosalie B.
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Default How old should children be before being left alone?

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"Donna Metler" wrote:


"Seth Thomas" wrote in message
...
wrote:

How old should children be before being left alone?


It depends on the child, the circumstances and what one means by
'being left alone'. (your definition of what 'is' is g)

The following was recently suggested as a guideline by a pediatrician,

and I
must say I'm totally dumbfounded. The pediatrician recommends age TEN

as the
age when apron strings are loosened.


My interpretation of 'left alone' would have been the age at which one
could be a latch-key child. That is the age at which a parent or
caregiver was not at home and the child was home alone. I don't think
10 or 12 is too old for that.

I was given free reign to wander the
neighborhood by age four and was often off hiking in the woods alone by age
seven. Has the world changed that much, or are kids just more stupid

today?


I think the answer is based on several different factors.

a) There's more regulation now than there used to be
b) The nature of the threats to children is being broadcast more
immediately and to more than the local community. I doubt if we'd
ever have heard about Elizabeth Smart in the old days.
c) Parents have reacted to factor b (and sometimes to factor a) by
being more protective of their children. The children aren't more
stupid - they just don't get the opportunity to exercise their own
judgement as early.

How early in life were you given some degree of autonomy?


I walked to meet my dad coming home from work (he took the trolley)
when I was about 4 and my sister was 2. We weren't allowed to cross
any streets, but we could walk up to the corner and down to the end of
the next corner. I walked to school by myself from kindergarten on.
(I never rode a school bus.) This was a distance of about 3 blocks.
I also walked home from Sunday school at about that age and it was
about a half mile through residential streets.

As soon as I had a two wheel bike, I was allowed to ride in certain
specified areas such as the alleys behind my house. I was allowed to
walk over to my best friend's house a block away.

My mom and dad left my sister and me alone at a coal mine (at the top)
while they went down in the mine to take data on my dad's experiments.
Sometimes I even had to miss school for a day or so - this was when I
was in 4th grade and my sister was in 2nd grade. We told each other
stories, and made daisy chains etc.

My sister and I rode the trolley/bus every week downtown to piano
lessons - this included a transfer from one line to another. My
parents would pick us up afterwards. We also went to the dentist this
way (although thank goodness that wasn't every week) I don't remember
exactly when that started, but I think I was still in elementary
school.

When I was in hs, I was a latchkey kid - my mom wasn't home when I got
home, and if I was 'sick' (usually bronchial asthma) I could stay home
in bed alone.

Recently parents have been eager to ask me how old their children should

be
before they can be left at home alone, without a babysitter. I feel at

home but
not alone with this common question so let me provide some information

on the
topic. First of all, no children under age ten should ever be left

alone, even
for a few minutes. Beyond that there is no hard and fast rule. It

basically
comes down to a combination of the children's level of maturity, their

ability
to make decisions, the parents' comfort level, and the community or

environment
in which the family lives. If your children are over age ten but still
apprehensive about being left alone, don't leave them alone-it's as

simple as
that. If your children are over age ten and want to try being left

alone, here
are a few hints that will make things go well: Set the house rules ahead

of
time, and make sure your children understand them and can repeat them

back to
you. The rules are up to you, but they usually include things like "No

guests
when an adult is not home," "Never answer the door for a stranger," and

"Never
tell someone on the phone that you are alone". Make sure your children

know how
to respond in the event of an emergency by talking them through

different
situations and hearing how they would respond. Post all key phone

numbers and
any special instructions in a visible place, such as the fridge. If your
children do need to be alone after school while you are still at work,

ask them
to call you (or a neighbor, if you are unavailable) as soon as they get

home,
just to let you know they're okay. Also, instruct them to never enter

the house
if they come home from school and find the door open or unlocked. With

these
hints in place, try running your children through a practice session.

Start by
leaving them alone for only fifteen or twenty minutes. Then, increase

their
time alone gradually. Hopefully tips like this will be the key that

unlocks
your peace of mind it comes to leaving your children home alone without

adult
supervision.

Awwwk.


Kids differ from child to child. 13 is a good age for trust
and responsibility.


Here, the law is age 12-there is still a limit as to how long a young teen
can be left alone, or in supervision of other children. And it really
depends on the child. I have known 7 yr olds I would trust much farther than
some 15 yr olds! So at 12, some children might be very ready, and some might
not be ready at all.


With my own children, dd#1 walked to kindergarten and home again by
herself every day which included crossing a major street without a
crossing guard.


DD#2 was allowed to roam up and down the street, to ride her bike and
go play with friends by herself at about age 5. At age 6, she took he
sister's 2 wheel bike out into the alley and taught herself to ride
it.

When she was 11, I would leave dd#1 in charge of her youngest
siblings (10 years younger and 7.5 years younger) for a half an hour
while I drove dd#2 to swim team. She started dinner and she had a
nearby neighbor to call in case of a problem. Then when dh got home,
he finished up the dinner preparation. When she was 12, she babysat
the neighbor's infant by herself.

By the time they were 16, they were driving themselves and their
siblings (and sometimes other team members) and horses to competitions
- sometimes without either myself or dh being there.


grandma Rosalie