On 5 Mar 2007 17:26:57 -0800, "Greegor" wrote:

On Mar 5, 12:52 am, "dragonsgirl" wrote:
"Greegor" wrote in message

oups.com...

What you need to do now is to think differently. Try to think from
outside of the current situation and you'll see the entire situation
from an entirely different perspective.

Is it healthy for a kid to think that parents
should come around to their "perspective"?

Isn't this how to build a better narcissistic monster?

You can build one, if you so desire,

By doing a lot of crap that is EXTRANIOUS to the point...

Just cold shower'm, eh?

I see you snipped the list of suggestions so you could pretend to
claim to hope to shout to believe to lie about something so you looked
like you actually had an argument.

How about looking at her list and going for it point by point? Too
Extranious[sic] for you?

BUT, If your child STOLE A BIKE how much of this
(child's point of view) crap would you do BETTY?

That would be the time to get real serious about the child's point of
view. Finding out what motivated this unapproved and unusual behavior.

And you would..........?

This (child's point of view) stuff can be good

Very much so when you are longing to raise sane good citizens. I like
those. I can see what the spanked ones are doing in the world. Thank
you very much.

but
too much of it

Yes, too much of anything can be poison, Greg. Now let's establish, if
you will be so kind, what you mean by "too much." I have a hunch it's
going to be way more limited than what either Betty or myself would
decide is too much.

just makes the parent a SUCKER
asking to be MANIPULATED.

I have a little educational tidbit for you. The tendency to manipulate
is built into all humans. We do it when we pay someone to work for us.
We do it when we demand that someone pay us to work for them.

We do it when we are feeling frisky and want our sweetie pie to come
frolic.


We do it when we bargain over a car.

We do it...get the picture yet?

Teaching your child how to manipulate well, fairly, based on facts,
doing what is best for both parties, is part of good parenting and
raising healthy kids.

The other alternative, one that is taught with punishment and the
various negatives that Betty mentioned and you snipped to keep from
having to think about them, let alone discuss them civilly with her,
tend to create sneaks, 'clever' liars and thieves, lay abouts, child
abusers, and spouse abusers as well.

In fact, you can really crank up the criminal population with a lot of
punishment and ranking on the children. Just keep telling them they
are wrong and you are right, always. That will set up a nice start.


by ignoring your child, by refusing
your child affection, by showing your child that they are not a priority to
you. You can press your own abusive nature upon them, whether it be
physcial, emotional, or mental abuse. You can make sure that your child
knows that nothing they do is good enough, and never will be. You can bring
out jealousy in your child by favoring another over them, and you can show
them, by example, how to refuse to admit when they are wrong and take
responsibility for their actions.

I know how this works. I was married to a narcissist.

You were his TROPHY WIFE??? ROFL!

Ah, I see you were unable to actually debate. You would NOT discuss
any of the truly cogent parts of Betty's commentary, but instead sunk
immediately to the lowest denominator.

Bet your momma made you wrong a lot, kid.

It's fun to flame folks, Greg, but when that's ALL you got and you do
it INSTEAD of debate the issues, it shows something likely about your
upbringing.

This is how he was
raised, and given his choice, this is how he would raise his children.

Yet ANOTHER in your pantheon of
(every other family member but yourself is defective)?

And your thoughts about his methods? Or do they strike just a tad but
close to home?

The list goes on and on doesn't it BETTY?

One can compile nearly endless lists of things a narcissist, an
intelligent creative one, can come up with to manipulate those around
him or her.

The thing is, if one has a healthy ego, the healthy human drive to
care for others will eventually be set aside, and the asshole will be
kicked out.

Humans being nice, mostly, narcissists look for the nicest to abuse
and use. Those especially that will caretake, out of decency and that
instinct we have to care for each other.

I find narcissists somehow worse, more distasteful than out and out
thieves, though the two are often one and the same.

They will also take from children...very badly indeed.

how to refuse to admit when they are wrong and take
responsibility for their actions.

Doesn't that usually involve blaming everybody else in their
entire family and life for every problem BETTY?

Yes, it does. Narcissists are like that. They will blame a small child
for wetting themselves, rather than look to the relationship and see
if they might not be the cause of the loss of control themselves.

(A failure to see the child's point of view).

The will displace a child because it's easy.

They will prey on vulnerable people, say lonely single mothers who
feel they can no longer compete for a man with the single girls out
there and will take what comes...even a layabout bottle and can
refunder.

Isn't that what you keep doing with this stuff about
how you are a GEM plucked from the manure pit of
your family by Child Protection???

Nope. Betty's view of her situation seems pretty healthy to me. If you
got born into some ****, it's foolish to deny it. And in fact
dangerous. A healthy assessment of one's family members, while still
loving them regardless, is a very psychologically strong indicator of
mental health.

Now Betty's ex, I'd bet, could not do that.

Proud of yourself, little man?

0:]