"toypup" wrote in message
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"Jeff" wrote in message
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"Barbara" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Mar 12, 1:45 am, wrote:
Hello,

I have a 13 year old son in eigth grade who has stopped interacting
with his friends almost completely in the last 8-12 months. I was shy
as a child, and he always has been too but he always had a few friends
that he did things with occasionally. At times, he's had close
friends. He's not particularly good at sports. He's getting all A's
and B's in school and I don't have to bug him much to do his
homework. He's well behaved and healthy which makes me feel lucky!
SNIP

Have you tried to talk to him about it? Sometimes, if you're just
*there* with them -- watching a TV show, playing a video game, even
cooking dinner, boys will open up in a way that they won't if you ask
them a question directly.

Have you also spoken to his teachers? How is he interacting with the
other kids at school? Is he being picked on? Is he withdrawn? Is he
engaging in inappropriate behavior? How is he doing with group
projects?

One thing that really struck me is that he enjoys hanging out with his
little brother (and presumably with his brother's friends). 13 can be
such a funny age. At 13, there are kids who are full-fledged teens,
and there are other kids who are still little boys. Is it possible
that your son is just a little behind the curve of his peers, so he
really doesn't have all that much in common with them for the moment?
I lost interest in a lot of my old friends at that age for just those
reasons. I was secretly playing with dolls while they were having
make-out parties and smoking.

Excellent point. If he is 13 in 8th grade, he is probably one of the
younger kids in class. A lot of kids are 14 or 15. The other boys and
girls in his class may be also be getting interested in dating, but he's
not ready for this. As he gets older, this may resolve itself.

Really? When I was in 8th grade, kids were 13 or 14. 14 or 15 yo's were
in 9th grade. Of course, nowadays, there is more redshirting.

Kids graduate high school usually when they are 17 or 18. That makes them 13
or 14 when they are in 8th grade. But, if they were held back a year, that
makes them a year older, 14 or 15. Of course, it depends on where they are.

There's going to be a two-year spread. The youngest, if they turned 13 on
Sept. 1, 2006 (beginning of the school year, which means started
kindergarten just after turning 5), are just abour 13 1/2. So there are
probably kids about 1 to 2 years older in the class, as well, with
redshirting (holding kids back a year before starting kindergarten/first
grade) and being held back later for academic reasons. That would graduate
some kids when they are almost 20.

Jeff