On Sep 24, 5:47 pm, Sarah Vaughan wrote:
xkatx wrote:

[...] Is there any ideas out there on some ways to stand your ground with
something like this?

[...]

Depends on whether you want to deal with an argument about this
particular choice (in which case, I think other people have come up with
good suggestions about how to do it), or whether you want to deal with
the real, underlying issue, which is that they seem to be overstepping
the line and not recognising appropriate limits when it comes to letting
you decide how to bring up your own child.

The problem with getting into an argument over specifics is that, in an
odd sort of way, that can actually reinforce the underlying problem. By
entering into the argument, you're reinforcing the idea that they have
every right to have that argument in the first place and that they
should expect you to defend your views. If you *want* to, fine. If you
just want a quiet life, it might be worth trying to make the point that
it isn't their decision, isn't their business, and they're out of line
asking.

You could of course tell them that in so many words, but, while that
would certainly get the point across, it would also cause a big argument
and a lot of hurt feelings and a pretty bitter aftertaste. So it might
be better to make a joke out of it. A couple of suggestions that are
variations on ones I've used in similar situations (both to be uttered,
please note, with a big grin and in lightly jesting tones):

1. To your mother: "Don't worry, Mom - next time you have a baby, I'll
let you make all the decisions as to exactly how long you want to nurse
her."

I agree here.

2. To your daughter (while she's still too young to understand, since it
wouldn't be fair to her to use it once she's older): "My goodness, DD, I
wonder if I'll have this hard a time standing back and letting you make
the parenting decisions when you're old enough to have your kids! If I
start butting in like this, you must stop me at once! Yes, you must!"
(preferably drivelling off into the most annoying baby-talk tones you
can muster, since that just makes it harder for them to get any sort of
proper discussion going with you).

I strongly disagree here. That is extremely passive aggressive which
for me, is the worst thing a person can do. Be straight forward with
the offender, or not at all. don't play silly games which just add
fuel to the fire.

There's really no need to discuss it. A simple "We're doing fine,
thanks." change of topic - maybe over and over again, but that's the
way to stick to your guns. It won't work to try to prove to someone
something they don't want to believe.
Educating is always good, but not amidst an argument which is more
about boundaries than about breastfeeding.

I love the cow baby/human baby comment though ;-)