In article , illecebra wrote:
I really hope that if/when my son starts college, he has the choice. I
didn't. I was required to stay in a dorm.
....
I don't really care what "most parents are most comfortable with", and
it matters little by that age where I'd prefer my son to live. I'd like
him to have the choice to live wherever he will be able to best
concentrate when he has work to do, and enjoy himself when he doesn't.

It really kind of scares me that you are worried about what someone
might say to your *college-age* "child". If they can't make their own,
adult decisions by that age, how are they going to survive???

Why should the primary concern for living conditions be what the parents
are comfortable with. Hello! They aren't kids any more at that age,
they are (or should be) adults. If my son hasn't matured enough by age
17 or 18 to decide whether to live in a dorm or a normal rental
property, I will have failed as a parent.

Some students at 17 are fully ready to take on adult life and make
wise decisions, others are not. Living in a dorm makes it easier to
socialize, which can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the
student and what they really need help with. Many freshmen have
problems with drinking or drugs when they are no longer under parental
supervision, and dorm living may increase or decrease the risk of
serious consequences (depending on the social dynamics of the dorm and
the strategies the residential adviser takes to reduce the incidence
and risk of drug problems).

Dorms with meal-service plans usually result in students gaining
several pounds their first year, which for most students is
undesirable. Students sometimes lose weight when they first start
cooking for themselves (which is dangerous for some, though a less
common problem than the weight gain in dorms).

What the parents are comfortable with *is* important for many college
decisions, since the parents are usually footing the bill, which is
now substantial (Stanford costs about $41,000 a year for tuition,
room, and board, not counting books, supplies, computers, ...).

------------------------------------------------------------
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
(Senior member, IEEE) (Board of Directors, ISCB)
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Affiliations for identification only.