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Old May 2nd 07, 01:01 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Zorro
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Posts: 52
Default Gag of the Week...

(I dont believe a word of it ... but funny stuff)



The following questions and answers were collected from last
year's GCSE exam results in Swindon. These are genuine responses!! (from 16
year olds)!



Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe
to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this
fight.

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well
endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.
abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels,
A,E,I,O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic
feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look
like umbrellas.

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you
understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head



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