(((((((Jill)))))))

Your post reminds me very much of how my DD felt after the birth of
dear grand-son in Sept./02...the circumstances were different(she had
an OB who was late getting to the hospital and she didn't get an
epidural at all, despite repeatedly asking for one) and making her
wishes (exactly the same as yours) known before the delivery...to this
day she feels traumatized and unable to let it go...as for your
midwife's attitude toward your pain, I think that is very
unprofessional...as someone else said, everyone experiences pain
differently, anxiety or not (I'm a fairly anxious person and know that
I experience more pain from my arthritis than others may, but it
doesn't make it any less real)...I'm so sorry that you've had this
traumatic and painful experience but so happy that you have a
beautiful healthy daughter...please take good care of
yourself...Catherine