Hi --

Although my kids aren't quite that old yet, I teach middle school
(grades 7-8). That said, my suggestions would be:

1. Sit down together and write out a list of good computer rules. If
you suggest one that your daughter doesn't like, discuss it
further. Perhaps she's right! Perhaps she'll convince you to
modify the rule. Perhaps when she hears your rationale she'll
change her mind. And in the end, you can always, apologetically,
say "because I'm the parent". Sign a computer-use contract
together.
2. Keep the computer with Internet access in a well-traveled part of
the house. Don't let your daughter have the impression that the
computer is ever used in private.
3. Make sure you know her password, and that she knows you know her
password, and that you'll log in on her account from time to time
but only with her present.
4. Give your daughter some of the responsibilities that go with using a
computer. For example, she can be responsible for keeping the
anti-virus software up to date. She can be responsible for keeping
the file system well organized, with all files in appropriate
folders and all files meaningfully named. And if you or she want
new software, let HER do some of the initial research into which
particular brand to get and where to get a good price on it.

Finally, if your daughter has not yet taken a good touch-typing class
where posture and wrist position are emphasized as much as speed and
accuracy, then make SURE she takes such a class ASAP. Carpal tunnel
syndrome can strike at any time, and one of my 7th graders has recently
had a brush with it! (I'm their first exposure to correct typing
skills, so some have taught themselves some horribly anti-ergonomic
habits by the time they get to me.)

My two cents,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.