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Old September 16th 04, 09:11 AM
Betsy
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"slykitten" wrote in message
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I'm coming out of lurk-mode for a brief while. Mostly because I'm having
some issues with my son.
Before I proceed, I'll give a very brief history:
1) he's under the care of a psychiatrist for his meds
2) he's on meds (a cocktail really)
3) he's been in the hospital for certain behaviors that are concerning
that
needed immediate attention and got immediate attention.
4) we have a social worker
5) we have a therapist (in-home psychologist who is helping me with both
parenting, coping and behavior modification skills for this kiddo)
6) I've learned safe restraint techniques for when he becomes violent
(which
thankfully isn't all that often anymore)
7) he's on a behavior mod plan in school
8) he has a great IEP

So what am I missing? Why does this kid constantly tell people that he
hates
living with me? This past weekend I was in the hospital.... very sick. I
have diverticulitis which I found out is aparently pretty rare in people
under the age of 30.... I'll be 29 on Sunday. My son threw a fit and told
some people at his school about how I left him alone with no one around.
The
reality is that his step-dad who loves him very much took me to the
hospital
where my friend met me and he took the kids home to care for them, knowing
that my friend was with me. He explained to my son on the way to the
hospital that mommy is sick and needs to be taken care of by special
doctors
who can help mommy's tummy get better with special medicine that gets rid
of
infection. I was gone only 3 days. I just don't get it.
Over Labor day weekend, I visited with my parents and when my son threw a
fit in the middle of a Wal Mart store, he had to be restrained until he
was
calmed down... I actually asked the door greeter to call in a manager and
security guard to help me.... Are there resources out there that I may be
missing? Is this something that's just behavioral or was this something
resembling sort of like a seizure?
I'm coming out of lurk at the risk of being massively flamed and attacked.
What I'm actually doing is asking for help, ideas, resources, links and
any
other ideas and advice anyone is willing to offer and share. I feel crappy
as it is. I really don't need anyone's cruel and judgemental remarks on
top
of it right now. I'm also not looking for anyone to coddle me and say, "oh
you poor thing!" because I don't belive that I'm in any way burdened. I
believe I'm being challenged but have reached a bit of an obstacle that
I'm
not sure how to get past.
Thanks.

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery



You don't say what his diagnosis is, or why he's on meds. Certain
medications can cause such outbursts, as well as these same outbursts being
part of the condition for which he is being treated. For example, I know a
child who has ADHD, and at the drop of a hat, he'll start crying, or
suddenly scream at his mother, "I HATE YOU!" It's an unfortunate part of
the ADHD. The sibling of a patient I care for also has ADHD. He out of the
blue one day, tells his grandmother I'm a liar, and I don't take care of his
brother, I actually torture him; because I agreed with the grandmother on
what the mother said about his medication schedule. I guess basically what
I'm trying to say is; even though it may be nerve wracking, frustrating and
hurtful to you, this could be something that is typical. Behavior
modification doesn't happen overnight, and stress can set things back.
Doesn't matter that your son's stepdad was there, he sees himself as
abandoned, even though you were coming home. You can't help getting sick,
and needing hospitalization. I know, I can't either being diabetic. The
best you can do is continue what you've been doing if it's been working.
Stay consistant, and reassure your son that you love him. I can't say as
this helps, and I can't say I have any ideas other than the plan you've got
going. Keep working with the professionals you have in place, and Good
luck.

Betsy