"Tiffany" wrote in message
news:uZzhg.6540$Id2.4424@trnddc03...

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:VVthg.18197$A8.1148@clgrps12...
Well, I really don't know - or, maybe, for once, I really do know...



He isn't going to change so get that out of your head. Don't live with
that thought and your actions will reflect that. You need to do what you
need to do.

Right now I am doing all I need to do - just to survive. He now has the
chance to make decision on his own - I'm not going to be there to make
decisions for him anymore. This is his time, *IF* he chooses, to make his
changes, even gradual ones if need be, and if he makes the choice to not
change, then fine. That's the main reason I am not getting hopes up for
anything at all. I'll be ready for whatever the outcome is.

You also need to allow him to see his kids whenever he wants to or can.
The kids are not part of this game.

Good luck. Again.

He actually had the chance to see them whenever he wanted to or can. At
this point, which either way is not permanent, he's not going to be coming
around here, and that's if he likes it or not, and that's because I am
pulling them out of *his* game. At this point in time, he will not be
around here at all until the time comes (if and when) he can make the choice
to NOT be coming around them when drugs are involved. There's no way I'm
going to allow this anymore. Once again, it comes down to being his own big
boy choice about that. He can't have his issues like that AND the kids at
the same time. It's just not going to work that way, and I know that no one
would ever, in their right mind, allow kids to be tossed into bad
situations, and I am doing what I can to get the bad situations out of here
and avoid them all together.
I know that either way, things will take time. If it takes him 2 months to
realize he wants to see them and be around here, in those 2 months he also
needs to realize that he cannot be drunk or high at any point when the kids
are around.
That's the one and only thing that I am going to keep my foot down on, other
than all the things that need to change should he decide he wants to
actually be *here* - and this is all about what he controls for himself.