"NL" wrote in message
...
Tori M schrieb:
0:-] wrote:

If someone spanked you, would you not charge them with assault, and
could you not take them to civil court for both physical (if you
suffered any) and emotional damage and collect a large settlement?

I was spanked as a kid and I can tell you that I do not have resentment
to my mother for the spankings. I can also tell you I was a very good
child in general. I feel guilty very easy. It made me easy to correct.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! So you're only passing along the bad judgment of your
parents! And because you feel guilty very easily it's a great way to get
you to stop things by spanking you. If you feel guilty so very easily
wouldn't it have been just as effective to tell you what you did wrong and
giving you a fair other kind of "punishment" have been just as effective?
Or would you, as a child, have preferred to be sent to your room instead
of being hit?

You probably know the saying "Revenge is a lazy form of grief". Are you
sure you're not just hitting because you were hit as a child and now
you're hitting your children because if you didn't it would mean your
parents were treating you wrong as a child and admitting that your parents
didn't parent you the best they could have, they parented the easiest way
they could have. Isn't that sad?


None of us parent the best we ever could have. Ever. We are human. We ALL
carry forward some of what we were raised with and choose a different path
for some things.

That she was spanked does not make her a monster out for bitter revenge, and
a closet freakoid. As someone who was spanked, albeit very regularly, I
think my parents did a fantastic job over all. I grieve occaisionally over
the things they mucked up that hurt me. Interestingly spanking was not among
them. We alldo the best we can with what we have.


I beleive that spanking is not the demon all by itelf. I belive that the
demon is punish/reward pavlovian "discupline" rather than investment
discipline. And the punish/reward system can be used to as much detriment
without ever laying a hand on a child.


Also: Would you put up with your husband spanking you for stuff he though
you did wrong? Why not, after all, it worked when you were a child, it
works with your children... Where's the difference? Is it just age that
protects us from being hit?

And trust me, the child often, developmentally, goes through a period
of being little legal analysts, and will figure out both the skewed
logic and legal fiction perpetrated on them...and interestingly
enough, that realization comes at about the time we start having
really serious trouble with our teens. Or even preteens. Mostly by
nine or ten they have figured out our duplicities (remember when YOU
were a kid and caught on your parents were operating in a loop of, 'do
as I say not as I do?').

We know a family that had that issue with their oldest.. before they
decided spanking was ok and you didn't have to give them a say in
everything.

Yeah, break them! The little *******s! Don't let them think for
themselves. Ever!
Bad parenting is not an excuse for hurting the child you claim to love.

cu
nicole