View Single Post
  #3  
Old September 19th 06, 02:17 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy,misc.kids
Ericka Kammerer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,293
Default Need Advice: Breastfeeding with 3 older (13+) stepson's

wrote:

Anyhow, I was hoping that someone out there can offer me some advice
about breastfeeding with older children, specifically boys, around. My
husband isn't entirely supportive of it 'cause he thinks that
breastfeeding is an inconvenience. But I've been reading up and I told
him last night that I want to at least try breastfeeding because I feel
that the benefits highly outweigh the inconveniences. The only thing I
am really worried about is how to talk to the boys about it and/or if I
should consider not breastfeeding for the sake of their comfort because
I am afraid that they might feel weird about it. Of course, those of
you that have teenage boys know how they can be sometimes with sexual
type issues.


Okay, first things first, and repeat it as many times as
you, your husband, or your boys require until they get it:
BREASTFEEDING IS NOT SEXUAL. Second, the benefits of breastfeeding
are so overwhelming as to make it a no brainer that it's best
for the baby and best for you barring unusual situations. Third,
do you want to be a tacit supporter of the idea that breastfeeding
is "icky" and should be kept super private--an idea that causes
many women not to attempt breastfeeding or end it early (with all
the attendant health issues for those women and babies) because
they're so afraid of what others will think?
One of the best health benefits you can give your
baby is to breastfeed. One of the best health benefits
you can give *yourself* is to breastfeed (it provides a
rather dramatic reduction in breast cancer rates, for
example). One of the best things you can teach your
husband and your sons is that breastfeeding is a perfectly
normal activity that they *SHOULD* be comfortable with.
What better time than now to learn? When you have the
perfect teaching opportunity, why would you let them leave
your home believing that breastfeeding is so sexually
charged and taboo that their own mother couldn't even
nurse in their home in order to preserve their delicate
sensibilities?

I feel like it's a natural thing though and I want to explain to them
the reasons why it's so important that I breastfeed. Of course, I
wouldn't be hanging out exposing myself everywhere but just the same I
want to be considerate of their feelings and am worried there's no real
way to balance the issue.


If they cannot tolerate your breastfeeding around
them, there is a serious problem that needs fixing. Do
you really want to send potential fathers out into the world
thinking that breastfeeding is so icky that women shouldn't
do it? Do their future wives and babies a favor! They
will come around. My first two boys were 8 and 6 when their
baby sister arrived, and 10 and 7 when I stopped breastfeeding.
There were never any issues. They are now 11 and 9 and are
not infrequently around other nursing mothers. It would
never occur to them to think there was anything wrong or
uncomfortable about it--and that's the way it should be.
It's one thing to argue that women should have the choice
to breastfeed or not, but to my way of thinking, there is
no rational argument to be made for why it's okay to send
adolescent boys the idea that breastfeeding is so
unimportant that it should be ditched in favor of protecting
their delicate sensibilities--which probably don't even
exist to any significant degree!

Any help or advice, especially from someone who may have experience
with a similar situation, is appreciated.


They will be fine. Whatever trauma they might
go through has already happened now that there's nearly
indisputable proof that you're having sex with their
father. They will deal with this just fine and will get
over any squeamishness quickly. What is more important
right now is that *you* get over *your* squeamishness.
Breastfeeding is not particularly inconvenient unless
you think that you have to be consigned to back rooms
and never leave the house to do it. There are
nursing moms everywhere. You've probably been
around many of them without even noticing that they
were nursing. You don't have to be an exhibitionist
to nurse, but at the same time, no one will be scarred
for life if they catch an occasional glimpse of skin
if something slips. This is normal and appropriate
behavior that should be encouraged.

Best wishes,
Ericka