On Jun 26, 5:45 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so
didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or
parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from
big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my
dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents,
multiple layers of other cousins as well).

wow, that is pretty impressive, if I'm understanding who exactly you
mean by first cousins on your fathers side - i.e. your father's
siblings' children, then that's of the order of your father having 8
siblings and each of them having 8 children, I don't find someone having
8 siblings at all surprising, just the fact that then all of them also
had such big families, or if any of them had smaller families, the
others having even bigger ones to make up, which does seem a lot more
unusual. My dad's mum was the youngest of 7, so only 6 siblings, but I
think he has only around 15 first cousins, 2 of the siblings didn't get
married, the others had more middle sized families.

My dad is one of 11 siblings who survived to adulthood and had
children (14 in all, 3 died before 1 yo). One brother had 2 kids, the
rest had between 6-10 children each. I am one of 8. My grandfather was
also one of 10+ (can't remember exactly). Catholic farmers.... I have
lost count of the next generation. My parents already have 25
grandkids.

My mother is only one of 3, and I have 5 first cousins total on her
side. However both her parents were from large families and most are
very close as well as friends who have been part of the family so long
they're relatives, so though there are fewer close blood relatives,
there's a very large extended family and non-cousins who might as well
be.

My siblings and I are scattered, but my dad is the only one of his
siblings ot move away, and most of my cousins stayed close to home, so
there are about 50 cousins who live within 60 miles or so, almost all
of whom have kids and spouses (age range is 35-60).


I'm at the opposite extreme, it's not the smallest family in the world,
but before I married, my entire family including me, extending as far as
first cousins was 12 people. My parents and the two of us, my mum's
sister, husband and 2 children, my dad's sister and 3 our of 4
grandparents still living.

In some ways I'm envious of larger families, if it's bigger there seems
to be more chance of being close, or living near family members, but
I've noticed it doesn't always work out like that - as my family is
small, it's not an onerous task to keep in touch with everyone and to
send cards and gifts, net result is that we are close, whereas in a big
family you couldn't do that so easily and end up not close to anyone -

Though I have 6 living siblings (one died aged 30, w/o kids), the
closest family is 1500+ miles away (CA, I'm in TX, others are in OH,
GA, and Guam). As for my cousins, because we didn't grow up near
them, and I'm on the younger end, I'm close to some, not others. Makes
it hard for parties though. My sisters got married in OH - where my
dad's family is - and had a helluva time keeping the guest list to
manageable size. I got married in TX, where we have no family, but
offered an invite to all relatives if they wanted to come, well, many
did, some I wasn't close to but it was a really nice thing and made me
closer to them now.

My siblings drive me crazy, and am I'm not close to all of them, but I
honestly can say I wouldn't trade them for the world. I am glad
they're there. It has been especially significant in times of crises,
like when my brother died and the few times we've come close to losing
my dad.

Sheer numbers are no guarantee though.