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Old December 28th 06, 03:41 PM posted to alt.parenting.twins-triplets
FrisbeeŽ
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Default Three and a half year old boys, sleep already,

wrote in message
oups.com...
Okay,

I'm writing this because I've spent the past hour and a half lying down
with one of my twin boys trying to get them to sleep so pardon any
*exasperation* you may detect. Here's the question, I feel that my
wife and I were never on the same page crying it out, etc. But
here's where we are now. We'd like to be able to put the kids to sleep
without having to lay down with them. We've made all the mistakes,
laying down with them until they fall asleep, letting them get up to
get a drink of water, use the bathroom, etc etc. So how do we start
establishing a routine. Just tell them, "okay, starting tonight
there's going to be a routine, bath, teeth, pj's, stories, and then you
lay down to sleep?" They share one bed, maybe we'll change that. But
unfortunately they share a room and we anticipate them getting into
trouble if we shut the door and leave them in there. Any tips on
getting them to sleep? The biggest problem is that I cannot fall
asleep when they do or nothing would get done around the house. So
after they fall asleep, I have to drag my grumpy self out of bed and
then get stuff done, this is *very* difficult.

Sam


I've had to sit with my boys since they first left the crib at 18 months,
and they'll be nine in March. What works best for me, to at least minimize
the time I have to sit with them, is to have a brief wind-down time right
before bed. Usually, they've been playing video games together and are
quite wound-up. They have their own rituals, including getting that last
drink of water and going to the bathroom. We also then take turns with them
sitting on my lap in the rocking chair and exchange kisses and hugs. One
boy even has this patting routine that he goes through with me - pats me on
the left shoulder, then my head, then my right shoulder. I have no idea
where he came up with this, but it helps him relax. Any talking that needs
to be done we try to do while they are having their turn on my lap, and I
try to enforce silence once that's over. They usually fall asleep within
ten minutes with this ritual, and it's finally gotten to the point that nine
times out of ten, I can leave the room while they're still awake, but my one
boy prefers that I say "Goodnight, see you in the morning! I love you!" and
he responds in kind.

Believe me, I can sympathize with you having had to do this for nearly seven
and a half years now, but my boys are autistic so that might have a lot to
do with it. Autistic children thrive on routine. There have been stretches
where we've been just able to send them to their rooms and not even have to
sit with them, but they're rare. They have to be in an already settled
mood, or just plain tired, but not over-tired.

If you don't have any bed-time routines, consider adding one or two. Read a
short story or even part of a story to them every night. They'll soon come
to understand that immediately after that, it's time to close their eyes and
drift off to sleep. My boys used to let me sing to them, but for the last
several years, apparently I've lost the ability for it to be "soothing" to
them, heh. Perhaps its my choice of lyrics.

Good luck, it's really not so bad. Personally, I cherish the time alone
with the boys. I know one day I'll miss the hugs and kisses they give me
every night.