wrote
.............
I'm interested to know how others would deal with situation like the
one I describe.
==
I would urge you to keep parent matters strickly between you and mom. Kids
don't belong in that loop--ever. That's what I would stress
to the mom. If she continues to pull that crap, keep a detailed record of
each occurence and bring it up in court. Judges can rule on these
behavioral matters. If she continues after that, she will be violating a
court order.