wrote in message
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On May 11, 8:03 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote:
"Gini" wrote in messagenews:Q491i.44$CQ4.0@trndny06...

wrote

Hi I've been separated for two years, I have 2 children of 14 and 12
in shared custody. I learned from my daughter. who was 12 at the
time,
that her mother told her she was going to leave me several days
before
she told me!
What kind of person could do something like that?
==
The kind of person you'd choose to marry and have children with?

How can a husband predict his wife will become a person from a different
planet 10-15 years after their marriage? How are men supposed to know
before marriage their brides will feel unfulfilled emotionally, in need
of a
change, want to find themselves, believe they not having their needs met,
or
feeling like they are growing apart 10-15 years later?

Well previously how could a wife predict her husband would dump her
and the kids for a whole new life? This is not a new scenario. It's
been going on for quite some time. The only difference now is that
there is financial recourse for the dumped spouse especially if kids
are involved.

Some men may argue that the finances are an encouragement for women to
seek divorce. Perhaps it is. But that's the type of women they like,
otherwise they wouldn't have married them.

The point here is that men have no way of knowing what the women they
marry will be like 10-15 years after the wedding. It's a very strange idea
to imagine that men marry women whom they want to divorce them, taking a
good proportion of their assets in the process and forcing them to pay a
high proportion of their net income in so-called "child support."

Does this logic also apply to women--that everything that happens to
them in life is what they WANT to happen?

There's another point also. Many of the men who are being divorced by
their wives got married at a time, and in a jurisdiction, where the rules
about marriage were completely different from what they are now. But
curiously, and by contrast to what happens in other legal matters, the
divorce rules are changed by legislatures and then retroactively applied to
all existing marriages. So no man ever knows what the rules are when he is
getting married. He just has to wait and see what various sets of
politicians will do during the course of his marriage.

The last time I checked, it appeared that in the U.S. today, about 75
percent of divorces were initiated by wives over the objections of their
husbands--and not for the traditional reasons like adultery, but
predominantly (according to the research by Sanford Braver (see
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articl...insofdads.htm)) for much more
touchy-feely reasons like "we just grew apart."

Very recently, there has emerged evidence that the U.S. divorce rate has
begun to decline. However, some of the commentary suggests that this may be
because fewer people are getting married in the first place. Perhaps one
element in this is that men have finally begun to realize that, largely as a
result of the effects of feminism over decades, marriage now has little to
offer them.