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Old March 19th 04, 04:56 AM
Bebelestrnge
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Default I'm a 16 year old mom I wanna chat w/ people

Subject: I'm a 16 year old mom I wanna chat w/ people

Group: alt.support.single-parents Date: Thu, Mar 18, 2004, 12:40pm
(EST-1) From: ('Kate)

snip

I meant to include in that last post that I do not think it is always

something
the parents have done wrong. I think sometimes **** just happens , I can not


believe I did something that caused my daughter to become pregnant at 16

years
old. I know I did not. So if I may ask the OP Why did you become pregnant so
young ?My daughter planned it, it had been an issue for a while for her and

I
guess I screwed up somewhere huh? Oh hell..........................I hate

this


Kate wrote:
Yeah... I know you hate it. It may not have been your "fault" and I
hate that word because it follows that there should be guilt and guilt
is not productive. Why your daughter did what she did is for her to
think about and the answer may be as simple as Gayle having died.

What happened already happened and feeling one way or the other is not
going to change it. But... being too helpful may make your daughter
have another and another until you're overwhelmed and withdraw your
help. She wants to raise that baby herself. I think you'd better let
her and support her by telling her to ask if she needs a hand.


Bev wrote:
Why don't ya just hit the nail on the head Kate , I have thought that it was
losing Gayle that fueled this decision she made. I tried so hard to do the
right things . I know I made mistakes that first year, I was drinking and she
was drinking and drugging and I denied it all and I don't know how we got
through that without her getting pregnant then , but we did. I met Mari and got
sober ,we dealt with things together. I could not come out of where I was, bad
bad things happened and I lost it. Ya know I am laying my throat out here in
this group and I am kinda anxious, past history says somebody has the
knife...........I'm just not gonna deal with that. So in a nutshell yes I am
to blame to a point. I did do the best I could under the circumstances. I know
I never wanted to hurt anyone.

I know Sara wants to raise Jaime on her own and I want her to be able to and I
know I have to let go. Why am I crying now? Guilt? You betcha ...........How do
we not do what we are doing ? I get up at 4 a.m. and if the baby gets up
between 4-5 I change her diaper and put on the music and she goes back to sleep
.. I leave at 5 a.m. to work....Sara gets up at 6.a.m. goes out to the bus at
7a.m. Mari gets up between 4-5 has coffee with me goes back to sleep till the
baby gets up around 7-8 a.m. She does the day.... feedings, bath ,
entertainment which I hear is lots of fun
At 1 p.m. she packs up baby and drives to my work where we pass off baby from
one car to the other we smoke a cigarette outside my car talk about Jaimes'
day. How we are too old for this **** laugh and off to work she goes from 3 -11
p.m. then I am on my way home from work now baby on board. when I get home the
mommy and daddy are there a few minutes ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! before me .I pass
baby to parents and find the coffe pot . I get my time now do what I want ,
play with baby usually for about an hour. Talk to the teens listen to what
imature teen adventure they had for the day , fill em in on last bottle, last
diaper any special moments Mari passed on to me to pass on to them. I hear
maybe about a fight they had in school how Sara destroyed his 25.00 hat and he
went to the principal and she was told she had to pay for it so she told the
principal "Fine he will just get off easy one week and not have to pay for
diapers and wipes and that will pay for the hat" hehe I have yet to hear from
the principal? I figure after he swallowed his teeth he decided to let the new
parents work it out on their own. Other days the daddy teen is off to work
right after school till 6 p.m. then he is at the house till 10 p.m. ( the other
days he is here from 3-6 p.m. then goes to work till 10 then home to his
parents.I have baby duty from 10-11p.m where she usually falls out and looks
like such the little angel in her sleep and I go to bed, night night I'm late
tonight but that is o.k. today was lucky nap day LOL! I was off from work !
This is how Sara is continuing her education ...............I try to not
involve myself while they are here the mommy and daddy and she gets all uppity
with me when I say no to her for them to go out to burger king and leave the
baby with me or to hold her cause she has to get the socks and he is getting
her toys and I am like "What" ? "You are not taking that baby out in 20 degree
weather so you can both go get burger king one of you go, James since he is the
one with the license".
Jaime just had a bad cold not that long ago, a friends 3 month old infant has
been in intensive care for two weeks now fighting for life because of the rsv
virus, which I am told comes from an upper respiratory infection, and infects
the blood . Call me paranoid fine, but adults know or at least should know
better. Oh that is right they are teens! So who is looking out for the babies
best interests? There you go, Nanny bebe that is me....................I don't
know how to do it any differently. suggestions?
Bev
'Kate