I have a 6th grader too. I wouldn't worry too much about the language; that
phrase is not used as an invitation as much as a put-down. Whatever they read
in IM they will be hearing outside of your control at school, etc. What I like
about IM is that I get a little glimpse into that world in ways I would not get
otherwise. Better, I think, to *talk* with him about things I see that I think
are inappropriate than to limit his ability to use a wildly popular
communication tool.

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 12