"Lisa" wrote in message
. ..

"Joelle" wrote in message
...
My sister acted throughout the conversation as if she
was quoting/reading a script when making her various claims about what
has
supposedly been different lately (I say this seeing how easy it was to
explain the reasoning to her

So everything she said to you - you had a counter argument and
"explanation"
and you calmly explained to her how wrong she was about everything. How
nice.
That would make me want to talke to you again.

(for those who think I'm making excuses of why I'm not trying certain
things
& that I'm not really looking for input...if I weren't then why would I
be
taking the time to post/follow up here?

So you can justify, defend and "explain" yourself - the same way you did
when
you supposedly "listened" to your little sister.

Next time, just listen. Try to see it from her perspective, right or
wrong,
that's how it feels to her and she took the time to try to tell you and
all you
did was shoot her down. That's not listening. It's not about you and
defending or explaining yourself to her. It's about her and trying to
understand what she is going through and how it feels.


The mind of a 14 year old is easily filled with perceptions. This young
girl is exposed to a lot of perceptions by outside influences that are not
exactly meant to be in the mix. Those perceptions are simply an
interpretation or understanding. Interpretations need clarification in
order to agree on an understanding. It sounds to me like Daniel did hear
his sister out, and addressed each of her perceptions with clarification.
Nor do I think Daniel is making "it all about him", in that he is more the
central topic of the all the things his sister brought up.

I thank you for seeing it this way...just because someone explains or
clarifies something doesnt mean they are making excuses. If an explaination
is just an excuse, then anyone who believes this should go & carry their
vehicle to work rather than drive it & don't try to blame it on a ficticious
force you call gravity that you say is pulling to to the grownd & is
overpowering your ability to hold it up...you're just too lazy & too week to
carry it yourself. When I gave my explinations, she appeared to understand
them & see that her thinking was wrong & why.

Lesson learned, though, Daniel, is that I hope next time you realize that
only you can really count on yourself to give the guidance and supervision
to your sister that you feel appropriate. Clearly, the friend that you
had
asked to keep an eye wasn't helping a whole lot.

This friend who practically finished raising me & got me out on my own & to
the point of owning my own home & taking care of my sister...then goes &
after all that she's helped me with she wants to mess up my sister's life?!

Lisa





Before you answer right away about how I'm wrong, just take a breath.
You
don't have to defend yourself. I'm sure you care about your sister and
are
trying to help her- but you seem to have a need to justify yourself -
here
and
to your sister that is getting in the way of your ability to listen.
Next
time
she talks to you (if you get that chance) try just shutting up and
hearing
her.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle