View Single Post
  #8  
Old September 7th 06, 01:51 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Kim
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 24
Default Feeling Guilty...


"xkatx" wrote in message
news:%[email protected]
About a few things...
Is it normal or alright to feel guilty over something, for example, like
food?


Yes completely normal...

I know, obviously, I need to eat as well as everyone else, but I find that
I don't drink milk because the kids need it, as much, if not more, than I
do.


Calcium tablets work... That's what I did...

Might not be true, but that's how I feel.
I also find that I make enough for supper for all of us to eat whatever,
but I find I eat less to save that food for leftovers the next day (or in
a couple days) and I snack on other small things - like I'll make rice and
chicken for the kids, let them eat what they eat and I'll eat enough to
tie me over and then I'll make a bowl of vegetable soup to save enough
chicken for the kids the next day for them to have a more proper, balanced
meal and diet.


Nothing wrong with that nor anything abnormal about that at all...

I try and limit my shopping outings... I try and do shopping in one shot
for groceries. I also find that I look for sales, there's very few items
I will pay extra for the real thing (Heinz ketchup and Miracle Whip are 2
things I can think of off the top of my head that I would rather go
without than buy the cheap stuff) and I find I buy meat on sale and toss
it in the freezer rather than cooking up fresh whatever every day. I
still find it hard, though.


That's the only way to shop... I'm with you on the miracle whip tho LOL

I also sat down earlier to take a look at the bills... ALL are overdue,
and yea, I know I have no one to blame but myself over it. I did call my
mom and asked her if she'd be able to come over, or me go over to her
house, to sit down and go through the bills. By over due, I mean I have 1
disconnection notice and the rest of the bills are waaaay up there - like
if I put it off any longer, they will send disconnection notices for the
other utilities.


Hmmmmm take your bills into the nearest welfare office... I know they will
assist you with utilities... You don't need your mom to fix you... YOU need
to fix you... That includes your bills...


Does anyone have any ideas for bills and how to manage them?


Yup for now pay the necessary ones... Call up the collectors and arrange a
payment schedule with them... Put a little on each bill if possible...
Keep the roof over your head and the utilities food in your tummies and
limit everything else... Get your bottom into the nearest welfare office for
help if you don't have enough for the necessary bills


I went through them, but I did give up. It kind of made me upset to sit
and go through them and think about them.
The bills I have to pay a Rent, power, phone, Internet, cable, cell
phone, car insurance.
My rent I can't bother trying to change, nor can I bargain with the
insurance company. I have basic PLPD on the car anyways, just enough to
make it legal on the road. I also do need the home phone, and it's
currently as a basic line, no long distance or anything. I do have call
display, which I'm debating on getting rid of or not. That's the one and
only 'extra' I see I have. The power also needs to be as it is.
Before someone jumps on me about the others... (Internet, cable, cell
phone...)
I'm currently locked into a 2 year contract with the Internet.

That started
this past December around Christmas, so I'm stuck with the Internet
contract until about December of '07. I was thinking, however, about
calling the ISP and seeing if there is any possible way that I can still
live out my contract for less money (IE, downgrade from the high speed
ADSL to a lower grade ADSL or even possibly dial up - which I both assume
are cheaper per month.) To cut the Internet would mean I would have a
$250 charge on my account, and because the Internet and phone are the same
company, same bill, I really can't do that because they'll cut my phone
line if I don't pay that. To me, a smaller amount each month is easier to
manage than a huge lump sum to pay off or be disconnected.
For the cell phone, again, locked into a contract. To cancel the
contract, I would have to pay whatever is equal to $20 per month per phone
for whatever is left of my contract - that's $40 a month (for 2 phones)
for however much time is left in my contract. I pay only about $50 a
month for both of the phones anyways, so cancelling, would that make any
sense at all?
The cable TV (we currently have the digital cable package, which is $1
more a month than full cable, and I guess you get all these extra
channels.) I am calling the cable company just before the end of the
billing period to downgrade the cable to basic cable only, which is fairly
cheap. I hesitate to just cut the cable completely, as there's a few
kids' channels on basic cable that B watches, and the TV is something that
I limit and use more as a priviledge.

I limit the driving to only when it's necessary. Doctor's appointments,
for one, are a necessary car ride. Groceries are a necessary car ride.
If I need to run errands, I try and do it all in one day, and yes, I do
plan my route out to avoid wasting time, gas and effort by running back
and forth, here and there. We also walk to a lot of places if possible,
and I try and use the bike and trailer, but with 2 kids in the trailer, I
do have a hard time on the bike. Heck, we'd all go together along the
river valley trails and N would take the kids in the trailer behind his
bike, and I had enough trouble keeping up to him with no trailer or kids
to pull!

I've also cut down my consumption of garbage. I decided to cut my Pepsi
addiction - I treat myself *maybe* once a week to a small bottle, which is
a huge blow from my 1-2 bottles a day. Also, extras like going out to eat
(even McDonald's drive-thru) and ordering in have been cut down to once a
month if there's the extra cash. I tend to just pick B up a Happy Meal
and have some soup or sandwiches at home for myself on the occasion of
eating out. I felt a bit guilty the other day when I picked up some balls
of yarn, though... I had crocheted (sp?) a baby blanket for A, about the
size of a crib blanket. I wanted to make this blanket to wrap up for a
Christmas present, and I want to do a second baby blanket the same as the
one I just finished for this baby to have a matching (different color,
though) baby blanket. I picked up a big, huge ball to make a blanket for
B's Christmas present, and I kind of felt guilty, even though I had spent
not that much money, and I justified it as it gave me something to do with
my time. I still felt kinda bad doing it but did it anyways...

Should I be feeling this way? Should I not be doing things like getting
yarn for crafts for me on occasion? Should I be eating the soup instead
of pigging out on the chicken and spaghetti? Am I doing everything wrong?
Any ideas or tips for these kinds of situations? My mom has said
Wednesday is good for her, and I know she'll give me an ear full, and then
some... I also know anything she says will probably be true and right, but
I kind of want to try and get some hints or advice, if possible, to be a
bit prepared, maybe have some sort of plan to go in with when she goes
through all this mess with me on Wednesday...