xkatx wrote:


Yes, well, weddings can get to be VERY expensive. I, personally, see no
reason in spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding if that
is not in a person's budget.
It was the fact that she outwardly told us to bring a variety of lunch
meats - about $60 worth, and I think of it like this - DH takes sandwiches
to work, I go to the deli and get about $3-$4 worth of lunch meats for him
on a weekly basis. HE said alright, I'll bring the meat. I said are you
insane??
So, they do not have lots of money. How much is a marriage certificate?
Not much. How much would it be for a hall rental? Not sure, but they did
rent a hall. How much would it really cost for THEM to buy some lunch
meats, buns, pickles and stuff like that... Not nearly as much as it would
be to cater an entire full meal for a bunch of guests, yet you save up
money. Not ask for people to bring the food for you. THAT is what made me
the most angry.


I have heard of people having very informal weddings and having a "pot
luck" reception in their home (second marriages, that kind of thing),
but in that case the most you might specify to your guests would be
something along the lines of "please don't buy a gift, but please bring
a dish of your famous lasagna/almond cookies, etc. We couldn't afford
to/didn't want to provide a big meal at our wedding, so we held it later
in the evening, allowing people time to eat at home or go out together
before they came, then had hors d'oeuvre's, beverages (champagne, beer,
soft drinks, tea and coffee) and lots of really good cake. It's one
thing to not be able to afford much and to make compromises, it's
another to make it your guests' responsibility to cater your wedding...

-Karen-