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Old July 25th 03, 02:20 AM
Betsy
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Default help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)

In news:vY_Ta.122813$OZ2.24517@rwcrnsc54,
typed:
Betsy wrote:

Brave? I think not. Stubborn, I would definitely agree with that
one.


I still think you are brave, too. ;-)

I am persistent. If I feel there is value in something, I keep
at it. If someone seems to be listening, I keep talking. When they
shut down, I shut up. It's how I am. It stems from being a Hospice
nurse, I suppose.


A hospice nurse? You are very brave.


Nah, not brave. That's just what nursing is to me anymore. I became a
nurse to help people. I found the care given in the hospital was less what
I had hoped to provide. Running in and out of 8 patients rooms, giving them
all their medication, being available for the doctors, and then running to a
code situation (this was a cardiac unit so that happened more often than I
liked) made quality difficult. I think what made me finally want to leave
the hospital was a patient that was brought into the emergency room by
ambulance. The paramedics were attempting to recuscitate, so we continued
the efforts. There were the external defibrillator pads on this guy (these
are used in place of paddles sometimes) because he just had a pacemaker put
in a week or so prior. The doctor asked if any of the nurses knew how to
administer the shock using the pads. I said, "I do." So he tells me to
give the shock. After that we get the flat line. The guy was gone. The
doctor patted my shoulder and said, "Good job." I was speechless. I had
participated in subjecting this man's final moments to drugs, needles, the
humility of nudity in a strange environment, and finally the pain of
electrical cardioversion. This was not care, it seemed to me. It was
torture. The man was 89 years old, why couldn't we let him die in peace and
dignity. That's when I realized I needed to get out of the hospital. I
either needed to go into OB, or pediatrics, where there were much greater
'successes,' or leave nursing altogether. Hospice work never occurred to
me. It was when I met up with a former class mate, and former best friend
but that's another story, and she told me about her job with Hospice. I
told her if there was another position open, I would love to work there.
She worked in a different county, however. BUT one of the nurses where she
worked, used to work at the Hospice where I currently work, and she knew
there was a position. So all in all I think it was fate, or destiny, or
divine calling. Call it what you like, I am actually where I want to be,
doing what I want to do, and loving every minute of it. OK, not EVERY
minute of it. But I feel rewarded when I am finished with my work for the
day. I get to care for the WHOLE patient, not just, "the new pacemaker in
29," or, "The post-MI in 18." There is a true connection with these people
that I get to feel. And I feel the difference I make in lives every day.
It's a good feeling to get. Oh boy, is THIS off-topic!!

And no, not ALL nurses are co-dependent. I am a
very strong willed, assertive person. I scare most men away, which
is probably why I haven't had a date in years.


One of my "lorianisms" is "my idea of the ideal man is one who is not
afraid of me!"

I really hope things
work out for you.

Betsy


Thanks. Did you read my post about the little mishap I had falling
into the crevice between my coffee table and book case? LOL. It's
funny now but I was not so brave when I was stuck there for an hour.
I have the weirdest experiences. I am in such a good mood today, I
really value the freedom to move about, although I am covered in
bruises from the fall and achy, I'm glad I was able to get out of
that mess and go to school today.


I read your post, but I wasn't sure how to respond. Glad you are not in too
much pain from that. If I had become stuck in such a fashion, no doubt I
would be immobile. I think that has to do with the location of injury.
Mine is cervical, and the neck is an area that controls the rest of the
body, so to speak. Damage to the cervical spinal cord causes weakness or
paralysis to the lower part of the body. That's why I am so afraid of
surgery to that area. Therapy has helped a great deal, but the arthritis in
my neck will never go away. I wake up achy every day, and if I have a nap
for some reason, I am achy when I wake from that as well. I am 31, and
falling apart. Again I am glad you are mobile, and I hope you feel better
soon.

Betsy
--
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and good with
ketchup.