I shouldn't be posting, I should really be getting things DONE around here,
but this has been going on in my head the last week.

Initially, when we were given the diagnosis of spina bifida, we were told a
c-section was recommended. It made sense what the doctor said (less chance
of injury to the lesion), and we were planning on doing that.

Well, the next three or physicians said there was no reason I couldn't do a
vaginal birth. I was really ecstatic about that, and they pretty much laid
any anxieties about injury to the site to rest. Or so I thought. This
week, I keep thinking about this. What if I damage my baby more by having a
vaginal birth? Are these other doctors right? How do I KNOW? Obviously,
I'm worrying. Didn't think I'd do that after I made up my mind!

We are also facing an induction now rather than being "allowed" to go into
labor on my own. I really, really dread, fear, despise the idea of an
induction. I'm just afraid that I'll go through the induction, end up with
a c-section, and have a harder recovery than if I go for a c-section in the
first place. We still haven't been scheduled for an induction, so I might
still have a chance to go into labor on my own. That is what I want the
most, but I've all of a sudden got a ton of worries heaping up on me! I'm
sure it's a bit normal, but I figured I'd post here. If I talk about it, I
just end up crying and getting the other people in my life anxious. They
are probably the ones causing that anxiety in a way because some people are
questioning the wisdom of the doctors for allowing me to have a vaginal
birth. My mother keeps sharing stories of people she's talked to who think
a c-section is absolutely warranted. A couple of these are nurses and
chiropracters or people who've had kids with sb (she knows a lot of
people!).

I'm really just trying to work this out in my head. Thanks for listening.



--
Joy

Rose 1-99
Iris 2-01
Spencer 3-03
# 4 Sept 2005