Joelle, at seventeen, kids will do what they're going to do.

I'm talking about my daughter - who is 14. But I still don't think I'd
interfere in my 17 year old's kid friends sex lives. It's not my place, and I
don't think it's your place, whether or not you are a teacher or a factory
worker.


I'd've been very glad that they took responsible action
and helped her in seeking suitable treatment. I would imagine that
I'd've found out eventually, but if not, I'd certainly prefer to have
her not trust me and get healthy as opposed to not trust me and get
sicker.

And it would be fine with you if they all that without TELLING YOU? I just
don't understand that. What would be the harm in telling you that your
daughter was ill?

I agree. At what age do you feel offspring have some right to privacy
from their parents?

Some privacy? Well when they are old enough to close the bathroom door when
they pee, they certainly have that right. But if have some financial and legal
responsiblity for their actions, I guess that overides privacy. In some
states, I could go to jail for things my kid does. I can't use privacy to
explain why I didn't know my kid had weapons in their room can I? Health and
safety comes before privacy.

If my minor 17 year old, high school student, living at home daughter is
seeking birth control, I figure I have a right to know because if something
goes wrong, I'm gonna have to take care of it.

Cause I'm 45, and I haven't discussed my private
life with my mother in well over two decades.

And I'm sure if you got pregnant (Don't laugh my 48 year old husband's cousin's
wife is expecting) ...your parents would not be responsible for taking care of
you during the pregnancy.

just how you feel that line should
be drawn.

You get to be treated completely like an adult when you have adult
responsiblities.

I'd be interested in your own answer to that. At what age do you start
dispensing birth control information without informing the parents to your kids
friends? 12? 14? 16? And why do YOU, not the parents get to decide what the
appropriate age is?

I noticed you said you'd encourage my kid to talk to me because you approve of
me as a parent. How do you decide which parent deserves their children's
confidence and which don't?


I'm not remotely interested in usurping anyone's parental authority,

But when you take on those kinds of conversations with teens, and keep
confidences from their parents you are usurping the parental role and you can
even sabatoge the relationship. Abuse cases aside (and I was not questioning
the truth of your story, I just get tired of abuse being used as an excuse to
keep all parents in the dark), you really only know the kids side and most kids
say "my parents don't won't understand" when in fact, parents are probably the
best ones to go to - and if a child is old enough to have sex, they certainly
should be mature enough to listen to their parents disapproval -- which is what
most kids mean when they say their parents don't understand.

Hence, if your kid has a reaction, I think you should take it up with
the medical professionals who cared for her,

Which would be pretty difficult since I had NO IDEA she was getting birth
control since YOU were protecting her privacy and didnt' tell me she had asked
you about it. Of course your responsiblity stops after giving her the
information. You are not the parent. I am That is my point.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle