Hi -

First of all, you need to worry about YOUR son, not the twins. (The
twins' mother should definitely make an appt. with the teacher to
discuss the depression that the stress of homework is causing. She may
also want to consult the school counselor and teacher about ways to make
homework less stressful, or even get an IEP with respect to homework.
But that's an entirely different story.)

Next. Do NOT let your child get stressed about grades in 1st grade!
Praise him where praise is due, an a LOT when he improves due to his own
work.

Quantity of work. Yes, it's a lot, but that seems to be coming from a
higher level than the teacher. (We're getting too much as well. I HATE
homework!) Be sure your son gets a good, solid hour of playing and
exerise after school, along with a healthy, protein-filled snack. More
than an hour is good if you can manage it. Then supper. And only then
start on homework. My experience is that homework goes more quickly and
easily that way. If he doesn't finish it before story time (which is
what we have before bed), then get him up early in the morning and let
him finish then. It goes even faster in the AM when the kids are fresh.

Spelling. Have him write each spelling word down once every day. (Or
do 5 a day, since he has so many.) He should copy them the first time,
copy them the second time, and quiz him the third time. You can also
quiz him in the car when you're going places, etc.

Yes, it's too much homework. But parents need to push-back, in writing,
and not just to the teacher. Primary grade homework quantity is a
trend, and you need to be on record as fighting the trend.

Oh, and as for losing homework in the backpack or leaving it at home
.... that actually IS your child's responsibility. Get a file folder and
put your son's name on it. Have the file folder go to school with his
homeowrk in it if he's forgotten his folder. Make HIM responsible for
checking that his homeowrk is in his backpack every day. Remind him to
check the backpack just as you remind him to brush his teeth.

My two cents,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.