Sue wrote:
Aww, that's very cute Karen. How are the dynamics at your house these days,
Karen? You had written a post that the dynamics was off at your house and
you were looking for some books to help.
Thanks for remembering and asking! In some ways things are better, in
some ways they're not. We're settled into our new location, ds1 and dh
are settled into their new school and work environments and both are
thriving there.

Dynamics were off primarily due to ds1 (age 5). In some ways he's
improved, we're not having multiple daily complete meltdowns, but it is
still difficult to get him to just go along with day to day things.
After the reading I did, I suspect a low level of ODD and high
sensitivity, but dh is very resistant to getting some outside
help/counseling with this kid and dealing with him day to day falls on
me with dh working full time and going to school nights. When dh is
home, they just set each other off comstantly, so in some ways, dh being
around the little that he is becomes even more difficult, rather than
providing me some relief. So from the reading I did I have some better
undertsanding of the issues with ds and how that tends to hijack the
family dynamics, but very little energy, patience, support, or tools to
deal with it.

I'm feeling somewhat overwhelmed because I'm sahm with no car and some
support/help from my mom but not a lot because she works and I'm finding
my frustration levels to be high which can cause me to really take it
out on ds1 when he's being particularly whiny or inflexible, rather than
being able to help him through the difficult moments. I find myself
yelling at him a lot and rather meanly at times, then regretting the
day's outcome when I finally get a couple hours at night after they're
in bed.

I think the improvements that have come with ds1 are from the structure
that going to school has given our day and from the outside positive
interactions and simple change of scenery he gets going to kindergarten,
which tells me his issues are not that bad and could improve more with
some guidance and help, but again, dh thinks he'll just miraculously
change overnight if he yells at him enough or something, I don't know.

Sorry for the dark tone, there are piles of laundry calling and my
little one is whining about the damn Lego trucks that keep coming apart...

-Karen, having one of those days-