Beliavsky wrote:
On Nov 13, 7:20 pm, Ericka Kammerer wrote:

If I have a daughter, I'll want her to get a good education so that she
has more choice in what *she* wants to do, regardless of whether that's
having a high-powered career or being a SAHM or spending some time on
both, or having a large family or a small one or no children. I'll want
her to do what she finds fulfilling, rather than what I might want. For
that, I've got my own life.
No kidding. I would not want my daughter to read
in a newsgroup someday that in my opinion, her utility
to me lay "primarily" in her ability to produce high status
grandkids for me. shudder

It's not a matter of status, and it would not be mostly for my sake.
Since I think more intelligent people create benefits for society,
based on the research I have cited, I will try to encourage my kids to
marry smart and good people and have lots of kids. I'm not sure how to
accomplish that, but I have plenty of time to think about it.

I think caring and compassionate people create benefits for society.
Intelligence may give people more option for doing so, but doesn't
strike me as the most important trait. I also believe that, although a
great many factors influence the kind of character that a person will
eventually have, being raised by parents who want you rather than
parents who have you out of a sense of duty to society is likely to be a
good start.

Most importantly, I believe that the best people to be doing any given
job are the people who have both natural aptitude for it and a love of
the work. In other words, no matter how worthwhile a job might be in
the abstract you're probably not going to contribute as much to it if
you're only doing it out of a sense of duty. A person who feels that
way about a given job is likely to contribute a lot more to society if,
instead of doing that job, he or she looks at how his or her talents and
inclinations can best be used elsewhere. Raising great kids is a
wonderful way to improve society, IMO. Raising kids when you don't have
much interest in parenthood is rather less of a good way, and I think
anybody who feels that way is going to contribute far more by looking at
ways they can use *their* particular aptitudes to contribute to society.

On average, less intelligent and responsible people have more kids
than their opposites, and that's a bad thing for society.

Indeed. And the reason it happens is because less responsible people
are less likely to make responsible choices, and hence less likely to
take factors such as "Do I really want children? How many children do I
feel I can best take care of?" into account when making parenting
decisions. Encouraging even *more* people to disregard such factors and
just to go ahead and have children because it's the Thing To Do does not
strike me as a particularly smart way of dealing with the problem.


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell