Nathan A. Barclay wrote:

There is a difference between a "punitive" parent or teacher and one who
occasionally makes reasonable use of punishment.
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Nope. Wrong is wrong. It is wrong to punish a child for anything
that is not criminal, that would be his right to do is he were an
adult, namely any circumstance in which you want to control a
child's actions.

But punishment is alright to use in ONE and ONLY ONE circumstance,
where a child is being criminal to other children or to adults
without them first having been and done so to him. This is rare,
and even so comes from some kind of emotional abuse and is the
child's personal compensation for it. Whether it is bullying or
destructive behavior, it has to be stopped because it cannot be
allowed to succeed in a civilied society. Even then, note that
we do not even punish adults corporally for this, instead we
isolate and restrict them in jails and prisons, and we do not
inflict bodily pain calling it "cruel and unusual".


One of my best friends in
elementary school was my fourth grade teacher (who I first became friends
with when I was in second grade and stayed friends with until she left the
school sometime when I was in junior high). Teachers in my school did spank
occasionally, and one time she paddled me on the hand (her normal method of
using corporal punishment - this was in the mid 1970's, by the way). I was
embarrassed to get in trouble with her, and I was afraid my getting in
trouble like that might hurt the way she felt about me, but I don't remember
ever holding it against her. And as I said, we remained friends long after
I left her class.
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Nonsense, that was your self-deception, you actually repressed your
hatred of her action out of fear and it migrated to elsewhere in your
psyche to live again as your sick desire to torture children's hands.

It is the very reason that you are right here right now quite guiltily
and neurotically trying to defend yourself from the poster's obvious
attack on your sick little perversion.


From my experience (and I think anecdotal evidence I've seen from others
tends to back me up),
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This is illicit in reasoned exchange, anecdote, yours or others,
are irrelevant and undocumented.


what is really important is how the use of authority
fits into the overall relationship. If an adult exercises authority in a
way that exhibits a lack of concern for a child's needs or desires, the
child probably will react to punishment from that person in much the way Dr.
Gordon describes. If an adult normally cares about what a child needs and
wants and generally exercises authority only for reasons that the child can
respect (if not necessarily always agree with), occasional instances of
punishment are far less likely to cause any significant harm to the
relationship.
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Nonsense, wrong assaults on children, if rare, simply become more
shocking and formative to the child. If not rare, they merely serve
to engrain the compensatory behaviors that those first shocking
occasions first gave rise to.
Steve