In article , Donna Metler says...
"Seth Thomas" wrote in message
...
wrote:
How old should children be before being left alone?
The following was recently suggested as a guideline by a pediatrician,
and I
must say I'm totally dumbfounded. The pediatrician recommends age TEN
as the
age when apron strings are loosened. I was given free reign to wander
the
neighborhood by age four and was often off hiking in the woods alone by
age
seven. Has the world changed that much, or are kids just more stupid
today?
How early in life were you given some degree of autonomy?
Recently parents have been eager to ask me how old their children should
be
before they can be left at home alone, without a babysitter. I feel at
home but
not alone with this common question so let me provide some information
on the
topic. First of all, no children under age ten should ever be left
alone, even
for a few minutes. Beyond that there is no hard and fast rule. It
basically
comes down to a combination of the children's level of maturity, their
ability
to make decisions, the parents' comfort level, and the community or
environment
in which the family lives. If your children are over age ten but still
apprehensive about being left alone, don't leave them alone-it's as
simple as
that. If your children are over age ten and want to try being left
alone, here
are a few hints that will make things go well: Set the house rules ahead
of
time, and make sure your children understand them and can repeat them
back to
you. The rules are up to you, but they usually include things like "No
guests
when an adult is not home," "Never answer the door for a stranger," and
"Never
tell someone on the phone that you are alone". Make sure your children
know how
to respond in the event of an emergency by talking them through
different
situations and hearing how they would respond. Post all key phone
numbers and
any special instructions in a visible place, such as the fridge. If your
children do need to be alone after school while you are still at work,
ask them
to call you (or a neighbor, if you are unavailable) as soon as they get
home,
just to let you know they're okay. Also, instruct them to never enter
the house
if they come home from school and find the door open or unlocked. With
these
hints in place, try running your children through a practice session.
Start by
leaving them alone for only fifteen or twenty minutes. Then, increase
their
time alone gradually. Hopefully tips like this will be the key that
unlocks
your peace of mind it comes to leaving your children home alone without
adult
supervision.
Awwwk.
Kids differ from child to child. 13 is a good age for trust
and responsibility.
Here, the law is age 12-there is still a limit as to how long a young teen
can be left alone, or in supervision of other children. And it really
depends on the child. I have known 7 yr olds I would trust much farther than
some 15 yr olds! So at 12, some children might be very ready, and some might
not be ready at all.
Here, the law is fuzzy - it's the kind of circumstance that, if there is a
problem, then the child was too young; if there isn't, the child wasn't too
young.
I did find that age ten for my son was a good age to let him be by himself after
school and when I do certain errands. He likes the time by himself, although he
has said he feels lonely after too long without someone else in the house. But
not scared.
I think the main criterion is - when will the child be able to handle minor
emergencies and know what help to call in for major emergencies. And what
resources are there in the community.
Age 7 - probably not. Perhaps that poster's parents are the type who can't
imagine anything happening. Of course, there are also parents who seem to think
disaster's around every corner. It's a matter of balance and common sense IMO -
things *may* happen, most probably not, but at what age can the child deal with
emergencies.
Heh - I remember being left in the house alone at age eight for awhile while she
took my brother to the doctor and she took my little 2 year old sister with her.
I liked the solitude. My mother had started laundry. The washer load became
unbalanced, and before I paid attention to what the banging sound was, the
washer had "walked" out from the rocking far enough to break the hoses. *Then*
I ran to neighbors for help, but the house flooded and my Mom yelled at me for
not turing off the main water line. I looked her "main water what???" :-)
Banty