"beeswing" wrote in message
oups.com...
My 5th grade daughter just started private middle school (5th through
8th), and the teacher is assigning what she calls a "weekly." It comes
out every Thursday and the work on it needs to be done by the following
Thursday. There's probably up to an hour of work a day, if it were
evenly spread out over the week. At this point, the parent signs it to
prove that they've seen it, but this will be phased out as the kid
gains more responsibility for herself.

Here's the trouble. In the past, we've monitored her homework and made
sure she did it. It's been a real pain; she's basically had to be
badgered about half the time. This year, since the homework is assigned
by the week, there's been even greater resistance: "I don't feel like
it today." "I'll work on it on the weekend." (and doesn't). "Can't I do
it later?"(and doesn't)."I'll work on it in the morning." And in the
morning, "I'll work on it tonight."

I've allowed myself to be put in the position of chief nag. I want out.
At what age is it reasonable to totally hand over responsibility for
homework completion to the kid?

More specifically: Given my daughter's age, would it be better to lay
down a few rules (such as "an hour a day," you choose the
hour...repercussions next day if hour not spent), or would it be better
to just lay out suggestions (i.e., an hour a day and if you don't do
it, it's on your shoulders), or would it be better simply to completely
hand off the responsibility and wash my hands of it ("YOU are
responsible for getting your homework done and you figure out how you
are going to do it.")?

She's in a private school that expects a lot of her. The teachers there
will not put up with stuff like homework not getting in, but since this
is a new school to us, I don't know what will happen if she doesn't.
(That would be a good question for me to ask the teacher.)

Thanks.

beeswing

I have homework struggles with my 3rd grader and I have completely washed my
hands of it. I spoke to the teacher about the problems we have and I have
asked her to be the "bad guy" and if the homework is not done, then dd3 gets
recess or something else taken away at school. I have way too many struggles
with this child, so I have to let something go and homework is going to be
one of those things. It seems to be working, as dd3 is doing her homework. I
do remind her once about it and I do tell her that she cannot go play until
it is done, but if she throws a tantrum, I just let the responsibility be in
her hands. By 5th grade, IMO it is certainly up to the child to have this
kind of responsibility. I have a 7th grader also and I can assure you that
they don't hold the parents responsible for the kids homework.

--
Sue (mom to three girls)