OK, this might make you feel better.

I was a nanny for a year (actually an au-pair which is how I came to be in
the US...v long story!). When I went to the family, the baby was 10 weeks
old. He was an absolute doll and in no-time we were best friends. I adored
him and he adored me. I watched as the mama went back to work, clearly
needing it, but also hating that she had to leave her little one. I was v
worried that she would begin to resent me. One day she put it all in
perspective. She said she is not resentful of the time I get to spend with
her baby boy, only envious, but she was v happy to know that he loved me and
was happy in my care and that she couldn't hope for better. She said that
he now had three people to love him, comfort him and look out for him. I
was a consistent part of his life and was always there for him (I lived in
their home also). But he clearly ALWAYS knew who his mama was. Each night
when she came home from work he was so excited to see her, even at a v young
age he would kick his little arms and legs when she came home. Babys just
know their mamas. The fact that they can be comfortable with someone else
is a sign of your good judgement in choosing the right alternate person to
care for your baby when you cannot be there.

That said, if there is any way you can work as few hours as possible, that
would be better. This mama worked incredibly long hours (was gone 12 hrs a
day) and she missed so much and many of his firsts. That's what was sad for
this mama (and me - I felt guilty). Having said that, if you have a good
nanny, one who is understanding and you can talk to, this makes everything
that much easier.

Now that I am a mama myself I can better see what she was going through.

Good luck!
CY

"Irrational Number" wrote in message
...
So, we hired a nanny and today is her first day.
Since I don't know for sure how much milk Pillbug
is taking in a day, I'm pumping all day and she's
feeding Pillbug with the bottle. By the end of
this week, I should know how much I need to pump
at work.

All this is fine and good... BUT, I'm feeling
very sad. The nanny is very good... she's the
one picking up Pillbug when he cries; she's the
one feeding him when he's hungry; she's the one
changing him when he poops... I'm here in my
room feeling sad. She's taking over my job...
Which is what I intended in the first place,
since I'm going back to work in 3 weeks... (Finally,
after 6 months bed rest plus 3 months leave!)
I'm looking forward to going back to work, but
I'm sad that I'm no longer going to do my
_primary_ job in the daytime... I'm kind of
hoping Pillbug doesn't sleep through the night
for awhile just so I get that time with him...
(I may regret saying this. )

-- Anita --
Mommy to Pillbug, 10 weeks

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