Basically I have a 4 year old daughter who is creative, expressive and
happy most of the time. Her teachers have nothing but praise for her
and she truly is one of the sweetest children I know. However, lately
(the last 3 months) she has begun having major tantrums. The last one
was enough to make my wife start crying because our daughter was so out
of control.

My wife and I have been doing a lot of reading and most of the stuff
out there says that tantrums are not uncommon for children this age.
However, I have to admit, that at one point I began to wonder whether
or not it is normal for a child to be so hysterical. I have been
keeping tabs on things that might be possible triggers, i.e. tired,
foods, words, activities, etc. but there doesn't seem to be a specific
trigger except the most common circumstance which is tiredness.

Basically the last tantrum unfolded on Sunday night after she had
already gone to bed. She woke up around 11pm and came downstairs where
my wife and I were watching TV. Because it had been a long day we
decided to let her curl up on the couch with us, especially since she
was still half asleep.

However, she couldn't seem to get comfortable and coughed a few times
as she began to whine and whimper. She began to get frustrated so we
decided to take her upstairs and put her in bed with us. Keep in mind
that she was not fully awake, but kind of in between. Once we got her
upstairs she began to get more frustrated and began to roll around on
the bed grunting, obviously unhappy.

Within 5 minutes she was crying and beginning to scream. We tried
talking to her and asking her what was wrong but that just seemed to
enrage her more. She began kicking and pulling at everything, the
blanket, her nightgown, us, etc.

After 10 minutes she was screaming at the top of her lungs, her eyes
open and red, her veins bulging as she yelled at my wife, "I don't want
you mommy" and then screaming at me to pick her up. There was no real
communication from her. It seemed that once she was past a certain
point, there was no communicating with her. I resolved to stay calm
and be present with her as she worked her way through this tantrum. My
wife on the other hand was so terrified by this behavior that she began
to sob because she felt helpless. Hugging our daughter only caused her
to throw her body around and scream louder.

Finally after 20 minutes of screaming and flailing, I managed to
decipher that our daughter was thirsty, but every time I offered her
water, she screamed louder. There was no way I could get water into
her mouth with her so upset. Then I had an idea and asked if she
wanted a straw, which she seemed to say yes to. This was the beginning
of her calming down as eventually she began to drink some water.

By the end, some 30 minutes after it began, she was talking to us with
a hoarse voice, sweating and still red from all the screaming. She was
making jokes and being silly?

This was by far, the worst tantrum that she has ever had. It scared my
wife and despite my calm nature, it scared me to!

Does anyone have any similar experiences? Solutions? Suggestions?

Thanks,

Ariel