On Thu, 26 Oct 2006 07:57:31 EDT, wrote:

Basically I have a 4 year old daughter who is creative, expressive and
happy most of the time. Her teachers have nothing but praise for her
and she truly is one of the sweetest children I know. However, lately
(the last 3 months) she has begun having major tantrums. The last one
was enough to make my wife start crying because our daughter was so out
of control.

I would take her to a neurologist and/or neuropsychologist if this is
a drastic change in behavior that she can't seem to control. Chart
the circumstances as well as the symptoms when the tantrums occur so
that the doctors can see if it is night terrors, early indicators of
bipolar disorder or some issue in the brain. Behaviorally, it does
not help to keep trying to appease her. If she is flipping out so
badly that you can't figure out what is wrong, encourage her to take
deep breaths to calm herself so she can tell you what is wrong. Leave
her to tantrum on her own but let her know that when she calms down,
you will be happy to talk to her about what upset her and how you can
help. If she can calm herself when there is motivation to do so, it
is a huge help in discovering what is wrong overall as well as getting
more quickly to the point where she communicates with you instead of
having a tantrum (if she is able to control them, which she may not be
if it is neurological). This will also help in the diagnosis because
a lot of professionals want to make sure there are no behavioral
payoffs before looking for a medical explanation. After all, most
children throw tantrums because it gets them what they want and the
most common cause is going to be the default. If you can show that it
does not pay off for her in any way but it continues unabated, they
will be more willing to look into other possible causes.

Good luck!

--
Paula
"Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy,
so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay