"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 27 Aug 2006 17:34:52 GMT, "Mike"
the following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

I think you pretty much summed it up, Kate... I don't like where I'm at,
and
I've never been at this point, so I'm not sure where to go. Actually, it
felt good to see you put it that way: maybe I'm not the only one that's
ever
felt like this.

You're absolutely not the only one. And it'll pass now that you've got a
handle on it and you're dealing with it.

I did try contacting the Y though. They won't watch my
oldest because he's not toilet trained yet. I suppose that goes more with
his mental retardation diagnosis, though. I know not being trained on
that
yet is not from lack of trying on mine or his Mom's part, or even his
school. Now that he has his official diagnosis, though, I'm hoping to get
some sort of respite care. I'm just scared, though, because the cheapest
I
have found so far was through a subsidized agency that wanted to charge me
$17 / hour, because they worked on a sliding scale rate based on your
income
(I'm a computer programmer). I'm having my ex's neighbor watch him now
during the day for $11 / hour. Times like this just make me want to take
their Mom and ask why she did this to us. But you can only go forward,
right?

So they say.... so they say. But I find that walking in circles can feel
like forward.

Being understood and feeling understood by someone who knows us well...
that intimacy... it's nice. Ya gotta have someone that you're willing to
be yourself with, warts and all even if it's just a friendship. Or
maybe, especially just a friendship. Sometimes sex confuses things...
things become less honest over time. We get wrapped up in the need of
the relationship and it becomes riskier to be totally honest.... even if
that's what we really need. If you're interested, there's an author
named Robert Schnarch who explains it much better than I ever could.


I have signed up with 2 local groups though: an autism support group, and
a
recreational "just for the adults" single parents group that does group
outings. My Mom will watch them occasionally, so I'm hoping to get out
with
them in the next month or two.

Good! Then this is the inbetween waiting room omg when is someone gonna
call my number period. Frustrating.... but it'll pass and you're doing
something about it. Meanwhile, perhaps check that author out. It may
give you answers or it may help for the future.

You are, without a doubt, doing all you can right now. Ride it out...
it'll end soon.


thank you... :`( It's hard to keep a up a happy front; gotta let it out
once in a while.