Hi -

I think that you, you and your wife, or you and your family may need
some counseling.

1. You and your wife may find it helpful to take a class on parenting
teens. Teens need increasing amounts of independence and
responsibility, but they also still need a degree of structure and
consistent consequences. Consequences that make sense are very
helpful; you need to explain your reasons for rules as much as
possible. A class may help you find some balance.

2. It doesn't sound as though you're too strict (from what you
say) but it ALSO doesn't sound as though your wife is too lenient.
Rather, it sounds as though you're not on the same page. Marital
counseling may help with this.

3. Because you and your wife are fighting over discipline issues, AND
because the other dad is back in the picture, you may find family
counseling helpful. Remember, you really DON'T know what goes on at
Dad's place.

I hope these suggestions help.

--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.