In article .com,
beeswing wrote:

At what age is it reasonable to totally hand over responsibility for
homework completion to the kid?

This varies considerably between kids. My 7th grader didn't have homework
in 4th or 5th. Last year in 6th he definitely considered it his
responsibility but I did need to have a little involvement in helping him
plan his time, as in, "What do you have for homework? How long is it going
to take? Are you going to be able to fit it in if we do Hebrew and Tae
Kwon Do today? (He can choose which days' TKD classes to attend.) etc..."

This year, it just gets done. He does not have rules surrounding
homework (such as, must be done before he plays) or anything, he just
does it and I don't need to know about it. He still has a planner that
he has to get signed every night, and one of the things I asked his
teacher at parent interviews was what my signature in that planner
signifies to her (because what it signifies to us is that my son
remembered to ask me to sign it, which he never does until he feels his
homework is completed). She said there were no issues with his
homework, so if that was working for us, to stick with it.

His homework is mostly the "due tomorrow" type, though, which is easier
to manage. Weekly assignments require a lot more discipline. We do
get some of those, but not on a regular basis.

More specifically: Given my daughter's age, would it be better to lay
down a few rules (such as "an hour a day," you choose the
hour...repercussions next day if hour not spent), or would it be better
to just lay out suggestions (i.e., an hour a day and if you don't do
it, it's on your shoulders), or would it be better simply to completely
hand off the responsibility and wash my hands of it ("YOU are
responsible for getting your homework done and you figure out how you
are going to do it.")?

Ask her what she thinks the rules should be and how much help/support
she thinks she needs from you. Then, give that a try. You should
definitely be moving toward "homework is your responsibility" even if
she's not totally ready for that right now. If she says she thinks
there should be no rules, ask her how she plans to avoid being
overwhelmed on Thursday night. And, as others have suggested, do keep
the teacher in the loop as you let her experiment with various
approaches.

Good luck!

--Robyn

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