KD wrote:
Greetings folks:

Just wanting to get some opinions from out there. We've been invited to
a wedding, which it will cost a fair bit for us to go to; car rental,
gas, clothing for me, wedding gift, etc.

Anyhow, we just learned that our five month old isn't welcome at the
reception, not even for just the dinner portion. The baby is
exclusively breastfed, not like I could just leave him with someone.
Even if he weren't, everyone I know in the area will be at the wedding,
there's no one to leave him with.

Question is, is this the norm for weddings?

It's one of those things that are up to the couple getting married. It
is legitimate under the rules of etiquette to have a no-children rule.
It's also legitimate, however, for you to decide that in that case you
can't go.

I'm with Dagny on this one; I wouldn't ask them for an exception, as
they _are_ within their rights to do this and putting pressure on them
is a little unfair. Just write a polite note saying that unfortunately
you can't leave your baby at such a young age but would have loved to
attend otherwise and your thoughts will be with them. (Extra details
about breastfeeding are an optional extra - frankly, I wouldn't bother.
It's perfectly reasonable not to want to leave your young child for
that long regardless of how he's fed, and putting too much detail into
turning down an invitation can have a 'protesting too much' effect and
make it look as though you're making up excuses.) Then, leave it at
that. If they want to make an exception to the no-children rule for you
then they can get in touch and do so, but this way they don't feel under
pressure to invite someone they don't want to invite.


All the best,

Sarah
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http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell