"MarieD" wrote in message ...
"Kat" wrote in message ...
So does anyone have any advice? I see this is just stupid, but it's just
one of those things that I don't think I've ever been real good at and
seem to be having some issues with. I'm also running out of time!

I wouldn't want to be alone, either. Do you think your mom may have a
friend who would keep your kids, so that your mom could be with you? I
really need my mom when I'm having babies. I don't know what your
relationship is with yours and whether it would work out if she were with
you.

No, not really. My mom doesn't really have anyone she could leave the kids
with (and have me still be comfortable), nor do I have anyone I could leave
them with and be comfortable. I'm banking on if all goes well (and I'm not
in need of another emergency c-section) it will be at least a day and 1 over
night thing. DS has school as well, so it's possible that my mom would stay
here so DS can still catch the school bus. I don't feel he should miss
school over this if he doesn't have to. 3 younger children is a fair bit
for my mom, I know, and her friends are in similar situations as far as
their ages are, some have no children at all, others have grown children but
none seem to have grandchildren - yet. I think that might be a very
unreasonable request to ask someone else to deal with someone else's young
children.
My relationship with my mom is fine, although there are times we are at
eachother's throats, almost with knives lol I don't really want or need that
extra stress, and she probably doesn't either. Which is why I think I'd
rather my mom take the kids. DD2 is also very VERY clingy and needy -
still - and doesn't really take too well to strangers. If I leave her with
even my parents or a friend that she knows, I usually have to sneak out or
it takes forever because she's so clingy.

I plan to become a doula over the next few years(both paid and volunteer),
and I wouldn't mind being interviewed over the phone. Maybe you can talk
to them more over the phone and keep a list of which ones you like, ones
who really stick out. I would think doulas understand that you have to
spend time deciding who you want to be with you during labor. And just
because they are volunteer doesn't mean you need to feel any kind of
obligation. I would take a non-paying mom as seriously as I would a paying
one.
Marie

Well, that is nice to know... I know often, it seems, anyways, that those
who don't have the cash in hand or the bank often can feel like they get
pushed aside. It almost feels like if you don't have as much to contribute
to the hat, then you're not worth taking as much time with or putting as
much effort in.. Or sometimes it's if you are paying, you're worth more
money than if you're not paying. If that makes sense?
One thing I have kind of noticed a little, with this doula stuff, is that
they tend to be fairly understanding and compassionate. I think for
something like this you kind of have to be, and I like to think that if you
weren't willing to offer free services, then you wouldn't do it. I'm
hoping, anyways. I hadn't really wanted or needed a doula or anything like
that - it was just N with me and we were together when DD2 was born (and my
mom was there when DD1 was born along with both of us) and when it was just
us, it was fine, but just me seems a little scary, almost, and might set me
up for a horrible, horrible experience. Also having N there, I know, would
pretty much guarantee me a horrible experience and if given the choice
between being alone or with N there, I think I'd rather be alone. But I
don't want to be alone, obviously.
I really should get back to them as soon as possible, though. I don't think
anyone wants to just kind of sit around hanging on for an answer one way or
another, I just don't want to feel like turning someone down is kind of I
don't know... not appreciating the offer or something?