"Welches" wrote in message
...

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Welches says...

I'm coming from the view of #1, who sits still, listens and obeys (at
school
anyway!!) and is at the top end of her form. Her teacher commented that
she
"coasts" the academic side, and still is at the top. Certainly she
produces
much better work at home than she does at school.

At various times she has commented that you get more rewards at school by
being "not bad" than being always good. It's been comment before but I'm
beginning to sense a frustration, as often these other children are
getting
rewards frequently that she would like to have occasionally.

Having observed at various times the 3-4 children in her form that are
least
able to concentrate seem to get more than half the visible rewards going
at
any time, this does seem to be disproportionate, but I can sympathise
with
the teachers who have to keep them going. The school is very
non-competative, and don't seem to reward achievement either
academically,
sporting, or other although they're good at recognising effort. I like
the
awarding for effort, but sometimes #1 is confused by this and thinks she
must have done something badly because others got commended and she
didn't
or thinks she must be really good at something that she isn't, but gets
rewarded because she tries.

Last year I overheard her discussing with friends whether it was worth
being
"naughty" one day to get "star of the day". Luckily they decided it
wasn't
worth being told off back then, but I'm not sure she's going to keep that
decision up if this continues. (I susequently noticed that the "star of
the
day" was basically awarded to the same 3 children every week, and maybe
another if they remembered to do it on another day)
#1 has commented that the rewards are not done on an equal scale, which
she
seems to find a bit confusing (she commented one time that her teacher
had
said that 2 stories in the class were "superb" and one subsequently got a
head teacher's certificate for it and the other didn't. She thought the
head
teacher must have forgotten the other child) and I have discussed with
her
about finding different things hard and trying hard being important.

I think this is an issue with at least one other girl in her class too,
from
speaking to her parent.

I'm wondering how other schools deal with this problem, as I can't think
of
a realisitc way round this where all are going to be motivated and feel
rewarded. The ones who really seem to miss out from my observation are
those
who are quiet, obedient, and middle of the class in achievements, they
seem
to get very, very few rewards at all.


This is slow-drip torture for a bright kid, and the road to cynicism.
She's
already gotten cynical. Are there other educational opportunities around
for
her?

No! Unless someone wishes to send us about £10K a year for school fees!
(or we win the lottery) and someone can persuade dh that the road to hell
isn't lines with private schools.



waving I wish I could help. I am a product of private schools. And I am
"Skipping Toward Gamorrah, as it were.

Debbie
Ps before anyone suggests, homeschooling would not be a good option for
her