I had pretty much picked my midwife (and have a
signed contract at home, but haven't given
her a copy). Now I'm starting to have second
thoughts. My midwife has gotten excellent
reviews on her technical skills, but I'm
not sure that she does enough hand-holding
for me.

At 6.5 weeks, I had cramping (menstrual-like) and
very light spotting (one bit of pink) after sex.
I called the midwife to see if it was normal, and
her response was "Well, you might be losing the
baby, or you might not - there isn't anything we
can do - keep me updated." So I asked if cramping
after sex was normal and she said "yeah, it's normal,
but you might want to lay off." No advice to drink
water, or lie down, or anything other than not to
have sex again. I wasn't even sure if she considered
cramps without significant spotting to be a real
miscarriage sign or if she was humoring me. I wanted
to know if I needed to worry, or if I should go
about my life normally, and didn't really get a
good answer.

Well, my cramping was caused by not eating enough,
because when the midwife said "stop eating when you
think you've eaten enough" my idea of eating enough
and my body's idea of eating enough didn't agree and
she didn't give me any guidelines for "enough". I've
added another 600 calories to my diet and I seem
to be fine. I spent a week worrying that I was in
the process of a miscarriage because I was cramping
for more than 12 hours a day.

I know that if I'm going to lose this pregnancy, I'll
lose it, but some kind of help figuring out if I was
in the process of losing it would have been nice.

Am I overreacting or expecting too much from my
midwife, or is this a bad match?

Elaine