"V." wrote in message
oups.com...

Chris wrote:
My stepdaughter decided to get pregnant again. The first pregnancy did
not
come to term. She will be 18 next month. Her mother prefers to have her
continue to live in our home even though I informed both of them the
first
time around that I refused to allow a second family to live here. Mother
claims that she will not be able to make it financially if she moves
out.
The father claims that he will help out and that they will live
together. He
was dead against the first pregnancy, but now agrees to help with this
one.
(change of heart?)

Although she carries a part time job, her daughter is basically lazy and
has
no concern for personal/financial responsibility. The reason why I will
not
allow a second family to live here is because my marriage (first family)
is
already hanging on a thread. Another family will only add to our
troubles,
not to mention that we cannot afford to support another family.

Any suggestions?

There are independent living programs for teenagers, and even more for
teenage mothers. You can access these either through religious groups
or through private agencies. She will also qualify for WIC and other
welfare type programs (and will get more if she lives apart from you).

Doesn't make sense to me, but at least it's to our advantage.

In my state it's called TANF (temporary aid to needy families), but
your state may differ.

My wife informs me that she is already getting some kind of medical welfare
assistance and just now told me that she has a WIC appointment today.
However, she also informs me that the waiting list for Section 8 (HUD) is
over THREE years! What good is that for someone who needs it now? Seems to
me that housing assistance is the highest priority since it generally costs
more than the other necessities. I know absolutely nothing about welfare,
except that I have to pay an awful lot to support such programs. Now you
know why I can not afford to support her daughter and baby.

Google terms like "teen mother program", "independent living program",
"homeless youth outreach" (they'd be able to let you know what options
are available in your area). Check out your state's website for
programs for teen moms.

Will definitely check these out!

She can access these kinds of programs whether she is planning to
parent or considering adoption (although it sounds like she wants to
parent).

Her mother says that she is unable to care for herself. Based on that, I
concluded that since she is unable to care for herself, then she is unable
to care for her baby, thus adoption is the answer. But her child says "no
way"! Am I wrong?

There are communtiy supports available for teen couples who
are parenting and live on their own. I've worked with teen parents
before, and IMHO they stand a better chance of being good parents and
forming a family of their own if they do live on their own with
supports. Often teen parents/couples that live with family end up not
learning how to do the parenting themselves or how to be their own
family.

I agree!

Actually, a good place to access a resource list would be your
local WIC office. http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/

I briefly looked over the site and noticed the "poor diet" requirement. I
can certainly give testimony to that. Not a big fan of government handouts,
but at least these benefits appear to be actual food products as opposed to
cash which is often used to purchase narcotics, alcohol, and lottery
tickets. A step in the right direction. I will review the site in more
detail.

Also, many maternity
units at hospitals have social workers especially for teen moms,
low-income moms, etc.
HTH,
Amy

Thank you Amy. I will pass all this information on to my wife and
stepdaughter.
Just curious, the father was a legal adult at the time of BOTH conceptions.
Are there statutory rape laws or is that just my imagination?