"Banty" wrote and I snipped:
In article ,
dragonlady says...

In article ,
"Sue" wrote:

For the parents of older children, when did you stop telling your kids
when
to go to bed and letting them decide when to go to sleep? This can be
during
the school year and summer please.

I told them that when they could get up on their own with an alarm
clock, and get ready for school and out the door on time without ANY
help or interferance from me, and do it every day for two weeks, they
could set their own bed time.

I've been doing that for my 13 year old, and he *does* get up and ready
(including breakfast) and out on time each and every day. But I'm
reconsidering
since some reports have come back about nodding off in class.

I was thinking similarly because of my experience with my SD. There are
other impacts of not getting enough sleep than not getting out the door on
time in the morning.

SD is 16 in 11th grade, and we're finding she is more likely to go to bed
based on when her friends say they go to bed than when she needs to in order
to get enough sleep. She'll do things like skip breakfast or not walk the
dog so as to get out the door in time. (The last time she missed the school
bus was years ago.) She'll nod off at school or act grouchy at dinner if
she's not getting enough sleep. It seems she has an expectation that teens
at her grade level can go to bed whenever it pleases them with no
repercussions to the rest of their day.

There's a balancing act because we want her to get enough sleep yet to learn
these consequences for herself. So, she currently does not have a fixed
bedtime and hasn't for a few years. We do, however, make a comment if we
think she's up too late or hasn't been getting enough sleep lately. I think
about how she'll be fully in charge of her day-to-day life in less than a
year and a half. Most times I'm sure she'll figure it all out. Other
times..... well.

-Patty, mom of 1+2