ParentingBanter.com - View Single Post - Need Advice: Breastfeeding with 3 older (13+) stepson's

**Rose Garten**

wrote:
I am about 3 months pregnant and I have 4 stepson's (one away at
college) ages: 13, 13, 16 and 18. The boys reside with my husband and
I on a full-time basis. I have a good relationship with all of the
boys and they were actually quite excited when we told them that we
were going to have a baby (something we've been talking about since we
got married in 2003).

Anyhow, I was hoping that someone out there can offer me some advice
about breastfeeding with older children, specifically boys, around. My
husband isn't entirely supportive of it 'cause he thinks that
breastfeeding is an inconvenience. But I've been reading up and I told
him last night that I want to at least try breastfeeding because I feel
that the benefits highly outweigh the inconveniences. The only thing I
am really worried about is how to talk to the boys about it and/or if I
should consider not breastfeeding for the sake of their comfort because
I am afraid that they might feel weird about it. Of course, those of
you that have teenage boys know how they can be sometimes with sexual
type issues.

I feel like it's a natural thing though and I want to explain to them
the reasons why it's so important that I breastfeed. Of course, I
wouldn't be hanging out exposing myself everywhere but just the same I
want to be considerate of their feelings and am worried there's no real
way to balance the issue.

Any help or advice, especially from someone who may have experience
with a similar situation, is appreciated.

Before you need to worry about what your stepsons think you need to work
on what your husband thinks. I planned on bottle feeding DD because it
was all that I knew. DH suggested breast feeding and I started to look
into it. I decided to try it for at least the 6 weeks that I was home.
I ended up going almost a year and cried when I decided to stop.

As to your husband saying it is inconvenient, I had to switch to bottle
three times for medical reasons. I found it infinitely easier to breast
feed. Getting up to make a bottle was such a pain. It was much
easier to just lift my shirt. In my own home (with no strangers
present) I did not cover up. Out in public or in others homes I covered
up or went to a different room. I remember one time at my in laws motor
home my FIL got up and left when I started to feed DD even though I was
covered up. I was concerned and offered to feed in the bedroom. My MIL
got upset and said he would agree with her that the baby came first and
that I should not have to hide something that was completely natural.

I know that none of this answers the questions about your stepsons but
if you are supported by their father in this then they will learn to
deal with it. Since they are not blood I would recommend discretion and
not just "whip a boob out" in front of them but I wouldn't hide in the
bedroom either. The suggestion of practicing in private was a good
idea. With time you should be able to BF without very little to-do. I
used to work early mornings and would meet DH and DD at synagogue
saturday mornings. DD would be hungry and I would nurse her in the back
row. More that once the Rabbi came around behind us to say hello and
would beat a quick retreat when he realized what I was doing. Again all
of this was with complete coverage. When DD got old enough to pull the
blanket off I no longer fed out in public because I was not comfortable
with it. That was my choice though and by then DD was old enough to be
fed other foods to tide her over if there wasn't a place I was
comfortable with nursing.

Good luck in what ever you decide.