"Cathy Weeks" wrote in message
oups.com...
Circe wrote:
"Amy" wrote in message
oups.com...
Mine has expressed extreme discomfort with the idea of a vasectomy.
Oh, does he have another think coming!!! It'll go like this, "Listen,
Honey, birth control in this house has been a pain in MY ass for over
10 years now. It can be a pain in yours for a couple of days." And
after a couple natural childbirths, I'll be qualified to say, "Oh, suck
it up!" too. There will be no whining.

You know, I really don't think it is at ALL fair to ask another person to
undergo surgical modification of HIS body for YOUR convenience. Yes, I
know,
birth control affects both of you, but still...if you really want the
finality and simplicity of a surgical solution and your husband doesn't,
the
fact that you've given birth and had to deal with birth control up to now
just doesn't qualify as a reason he should "suck it up" and do what YOU
want. Sorry, but it just sounds to me like a good way to put a strain on
your marital relationship.

Hmmm... at some point though, you have to weigh certain things. In my
case, it's my husband who absolutely does NOT want any more kids. No
way, no can do. Yet is it fair for him to expect ME to continue
handling birth control?

My husband is squicked by the idea of a vasectomy - not because it's
permanant - that's fine by him. But because it's having something done
to or near his testicles that bothers him. But for us, insurance will
pay 100% of any births, and 100% of sterilization, but 0% for birth
control. So another IUD (which is fine by me) would have to be paid
100% out of pocket, and HE doesn't like it (he gets poked sometimes).

So here we have it:

1. Sterilization of either of us is free
2. If I were to drop dead tomorrow, and he remarried, he still wouldn't
want more kids
3. I he were to drop dead tomorrow and I remarried, and my husband
wanted a kid, and though I don't particularly want another kid, I'm not
dead set against it
4. I've been handling birthcontrol for a LONG time.
5. Neither of us like condoms (though it's not out of the question)
6. I'm not interested in the least in a diaphram
7. I'm dead set against any type of birth control where there's hassle
or hormones (I did fine on the pill, but it violates my hassle issue).
True NFP is too much hassle.
8. I'd be OK with another Mirena or perhaps a copper T, but I think my
system is such that it's not so great for my partner. Either the
strings were too long, and poked *me* (just inside my labia) or they
are too short, and poke him occasionally.
9. Birthcontrol other than sterilization is not covered by insurance.

I've told him that he has to have a vasectomy by six months prior to
when I need to have the Mirena removed, which means he's got about 6
months to make a decision. After that, I'm just going to plan to get
another one, and that means budgeting for it

So.... it's not always cut and dried about what's fair and what's not.

But, in your case, it seems you have two options:

1) Your husband gets free vasectomy
2) You spend the money to get another IUD because you husband can't bring
himself to get the vasectomy.

It may indeed be "fairer" in the above situation for your husband to get a
vasectomy. It's certainly cheaper. But if that doesn't sway him to do so,
you DO have other options, even if they're slightly less attractive options.
--
Be well, Barbara