"Lesa" wrote in message
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"jitney" wrote in message
om...
The very title of this thread indicates a the kind of egghead
academianistic theorizing that is so full of **** that such people
need colostomy bags hooked up to their ears. If you raise a child
without punishing bad behavior, you are inflicting a criminal on
society and should yourself be held accountable. People that advocate
mindless theories like this would be far more useful to society if
they removed the grafitti that their hellion brats put up on the walls
in the first place.-Jitney

If one praises "good" behavior and treats a chid with repsect, talking to
said child when "bad" things occur, there is no need for punishment.


With all children? With non-neurotypical children? With children adopted at
the age of 3 from foreign countries? With children in foster care?

You see, "teaching without punishing" has been pushed down the throats of
the educational system for more than a decade (I've been teaching that
long). ANd while it works with some children-the naturally compliant kids
who will burst into tears at the thought that they've failed an adult, there
are others who definitely take advantage of the situation.

The result is what you see in many public schools today (probably private
ones, too)-a bunch of kids who are very sure that nothing you can do will
affect them. They don't care about the relationship, or about pleasing the
teacher. They don't care about pleasing their parents. They don't care about
long-term results.

And the results is that no child in the same classroom gets a good
education.

And, it has been my impression that the "don't you DARE punish my child
because I don't believe in punitive parenting" parents are the ones who
generally have the WORST behaved children, and who stand up for their child,
shielding them from even natural consequenses the most-rather than the other
way around. Those parents who do use consequences at home generally don't
have to use many. They're not shrieking lunatics beating their child with an
extention cord (actually, those are more likely to be the parent who has
never before punished their child and then snaps-the worst cases of abuse
we've had in the school were exactly that). Rather, they've learned that
saying "NO" and enforcing that "When I say NO, and you don't listen, there
are consequenses" works. Punishment doesn't always mean spanking. It doesn't
have to ever mean spanking. But there needs to be some way of showing that
the child doesn't always have complete control of all situations.