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Old September 16th 04, 04:10 PM
Bebelestrnge0721
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Subject: Need a couple of ideas and resources
From: "slykitten" ms
Date: 9/16/2004 12:54 AM Eastern Standard Time
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I'm coming out of lurk-mode for a brief while. Mostly because I'm having
some issues with my son.
Before I proceed, I'll give a very brief history:
1) he's under the care of a psychiatrist for his meds
2) he's on meds (a cocktail really)
3) he's been in the hospital for certain behaviors that are concerning that
needed immediate attention and got immediate attention.
4) we have a social worker
5) we have a therapist (in-home psychologist who is helping me with both
parenting, coping and behavior modification skills for this kiddo)
6) I've learned safe restraint techniques for when he becomes violent (which
thankfully isn't all that often anymore)
7) he's on a behavior mod plan in school
8) he has a great IEP

So what am I missing? Why does this kid constantly tell people that he hates
living with me? This past weekend I was in the hospital.... very sick. I
have diverticulitis which I found out is aparently pretty rare in people
under the age of 30.... I'll be 29 on Sunday. My son threw a fit and told
some people at his school about how I left him alone with no one around. The
reality is that his step-dad who loves him very much took me to the hospital
where my friend met me and he took the kids home to care for them, knowing
that my friend was with me. He explained to my son on the way to the
hospital that mommy is sick and needs to be taken care of by special doctors
who can help mommy's tummy get better with special medicine that gets rid of
infection. I was gone only 3 days. I just don't get it.
Over Labor day weekend, I visited with my parents and when my son threw a
fit in the middle of a Wal Mart store, he had to be restrained until he was
calmed down... I actually asked the door greeter to call in a manager and
security guard to help me.... Are there resources out there that I may be
missing? Is this something that's just behavioral or was this something
resembling sort of like a seizure?
I'm coming out of lurk at the risk of being massively flamed and attacked.
What I'm actually doing is asking for help, ideas, resources, links and any
other ideas and advice anyone is willing to offer and share. I feel crappy
as it is. I really don't need anyone's cruel and judgemental remarks on top
of it right now. I'm also not looking for anyone to coddle me and say, "oh
you poor thing!" because I don't belive that I'm in any way burdened. I
believe I'm being challenged but have reached a bit of an obstacle that I'm
not sure how to get past.
Thanks.

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Slykitten,
I too have been dealing with these same frustatioins. My daughter was diagnosed
Bipolar, by one doctor ,having intermittant explosive disorder by another , she
suffers learning disabilities , major depression, and we have been in the world
of therapists P-docs, medications , counsiling, IEP, even the legal system came
into play during the worst of her behaviors. What I did once I got my head
"outta there" Was educate myself as much as possible about the symptoms she was
having, the behaviors, and I never stopped pushing the doctors to get it right
.. We suffered through extreme medicating to no medication, Two years ago they
seemed to get it right, simply put her on Prozac 40 milligram a day. we had a
"wonderful" two years, anyone that has been here knows what I mean by that,
after a year of total hell. We did mobil therapy, for her individually and us
as a family. I can not say enough about having a good therapist, and doctor
involved. It turned our lives around. I am not saying at all that it is all
"fixed" no more outbursts, or impulsive behaviours, she had a severe problem
with cutting at one point that now recently came back into the picture. She
fell right back into some pretty severe behaviors recently , I feel due to her
babies father deciding he "made a mistake" and abandoned her and the baby for
another relationship. We have begun to re enter the mobil therapy again and are
having her re evaluated to medicate her properly once more now the prozac isn't
working like it had. My daughter just turned 17 and has a 9 month old baby,
they live with me of course and although her set back has added some additional
stress to the household , she is keeping up on her responsibilities to the
baby, ( at first she did not) it has been 2 months since the daddy person chose
to split the scene, we have let her have some time to grieve her loss( she of
course is not over it but is functioning much better) and she is back on task.
As with what you explain with your son, I believe there is no instant cure for
these mental health conditions , there are so many out there , it is a hit and
miss maybe forever. The best I have found for us is to educate my daughter on
her illness, help her to understand it, and give her the support she needs to
live as normal a life as possible. I have seen her thrive and I know she is
capable of coping well, she needs to have a constant support system. So I guess
what I am trying to ramble off here to you is you sound to be doing everything
possible to make your sons life manageable and sometimes that is all there is
to it. filling in as many of the blanks as possible and keeping the support
system involved. Unconditional love and never make him feel guilty for when
things get hard for him. Good luck !
Bev