beyond the pale wrote:
This person really wants to throw me a
little shower again, it would be the same people as last time. It's been
just over 4 years. I am debating if it's rude to "turn down" a shower, and I
am debating if it's rude to let her throw the shower but have her somehow
let people know that we saved everything and will only need some basics and
mostly diapers and wipes. I don't want to dictate my shower, you know?

It's not a choice between having a shower or having nothing. Seems to
me it would be perfectly reasonable to say to her "That's so kind of
you! I don't feel it would be appropriate to have a *shower* again,
since these people brought me gifts for my last shower, but why don't we
have a celebration party for the baby? I would love you to host that."


All the best,

Sarah
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"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell