Hello,

I'm Bev from Pa. I have been both single and not single but with
children either way . Mine are older now ,my Oldest is living in San
Jose California and going to the Art Institutes International in San
Fran. Youngest about to be 18 ugh she has an 18 1/2 month old
daughter. They live with me . I have grandkids galore! ( boy 13 yrs
old, a girl 9 yrs. another boy 3 yrs, um that makes 4 altogether ! ) I
was divorced legally just about 15 years ago . I know how hard it is in
the beginning , trying to adjust . My daughters father was not very
attentive to parenting either. Patience will be your best defence .
Even though it hurts like hell dealing with what your boys are going
through you will need to try to do your best to not bad mouth their
dad. My Ex hurt our girls terribly and to this day they long for the
father I wish he could of been. If you do the best you can to be all
that you can and don't sweat the small stuff , you will all be o.k.
What I found helpful after groveling with my Ex to be there for his
kids was to just be there for them myself the best I could be. Changing
him was/is not an option . Although I am still heart broken that he
managed to mess up his relationship with his girls, now that they are
older and have drawn their own conclusions, I know In my heart there
was nothing I could of done that would have made it any different for
them today. Try to be that one parent they can depend on, that is all
you can do.
While it feels scary in the trenches now, know that there are many
Single Dads and Moms in there with you doin a fine job ! Good Luck !
Bev